Naked Sword Original “Grindhouse” Is A Total Flop

October 26, 2012
BRADFORD-MATTHEWS

Watch out, world. Naked Sword released the newest version of their website last week, and with the debut of its new, original series Grindhouse, they're already calling themselves "the HBO of the gay porn industry." Oy.

The monstrous website that already syndicates content from studios like Falcon Studios, Cocky Boys, Next Door and Colt Studios may be one of the first of its kind after the launch of Naked Sword Originals, but even the the fairly new addition of legendary porn director mr. Pam doesn't quite make it HBO network quality. We just feel the overwhelming need to point out the difference between "HBO" and "VOD," which to us, aren't even close to being the same thing.

Either way, Grindhouse is hot. In theory.

It's a series that chronicles the live shows and scripted scenes in America's seedy sex clubs. People love places like the Nob Hill Theatre in San Francisco and New York's Black Party, so they should totally eat Grindhouse up, right? Meh. The first scene stars Trenton Ducati and Seth Knight, a washed-up twink that spends his free time beckoning for random sex on Twitter. Watching anyone fuck Seth Knight just makes us queasy, so be warned before viewing this tragic clip in which he acts like a spoiled brat. Again.

Scene 2 stars Angelo Marconi and Woody Fox, and it would totally be hot if it weren't already drowning in cliches. There is actually a moment where Woody Fox pours a bottle of champagne all over Marconi's asshole, which is absolutely the tackiest thing we've ever seen.

Nice try, Grindhouse. We'll keep our fingers crossed that the hotly anticipated upcoming "live sex" threesome doesn't involve Seth Knight or cheap champagne, though the elderly patrons in the front row have already made it irrelevant.