Holes, Hoes, and Homemade Videos: Gay Fleshbot Gives Thanks

It's Turkey Day! When you're finished griping about your loud extended family in the living room and drinking yourself into a holiday stupor, take a seat at the computer and let your pants hit the floor. There's plenty to be thankful for, but we're most thankful for the porn pals that keep us company year-round.

While they gobble up cock and put their ass in casserole, Fleshbot sexperts Bradford Matthews and Neil O'Hare are sitting down to bless the best year yet by naming the dirty things gay Fleshbot is thankful for this year.

Don't stuff yourself too much in one sitting!

Pass-Around Party Bottoms

Bradford: Who doesn't love an insatiable slut? The pass-around party bottom will never tell you to stop, and encourages foreign objects, double penetration, and taking the gang's loads á la bukkake style (which doesn't even stop the good ones).

Those that practice hard enough are rewarded with hours of endless fucking like the notorious Benny G, a revolving door of dick like the young Helix whores, or a hundred raw creampies like Corbin Fisher's resident cum king Dawson. It's alright if you're a little rusty at first—submissive cum pigs and filthy whores like Ray Diaz aren't made overnight.

Neil: An honorable mention is in order here for the always coveted spitroast bottom pig who begs and squeals to take it from every angle.

Amateur Underwear Models

Neil: Mark Wahlberg and Alexander Skarsgard might get paid big bucks to pose in their Calvins, but plenty of regular dudes are smokin' when they drop trou. And unlike these gay-list celebs, who granted show their fair share of skin, our favorite amateur underwear studs actually beat out a load for us too. Sporting everything from tie-dye bikinis to classic jockstraps and tighty whities—real men in their skivvies make our hearts and cocks go pitter-patter.

Bradford: I've always thought that proper underwear can make or break your amateur career. While many of us won't always look as sexy as Colby Melvin or Nicco Sky while doing a sexy underwear floor-crawl for our man, watching the pros model underwear is where you'll learn the tricks of the trade. Fleshbot Boyfriends Johan Akan and Miguel Matorell had to start somewhere, and you know every AussieBum model has a library of homemade shots on his iPhone.

GIFs

Bradford: The animated GIF is often overlooked, but may be one of the most powerful and sexually-charged marketing tools since the two-minute trailer and behind-the-scenes footage.

How else would we be able to show you all the delicious creampies, real life celebrity dick, and washed up celebrity dick you don't want to pay for? If we couldn't prove how blatantly gooey Sean Cody creampies are with GIFs, you would never have started worshipping Jarek or crafting a Coner voodoo doll.

Neil: AMEN.

Real Public Sex Acts

Neil: A lot of studios film scenes in locker rooms or sets made to look like glory holes in public restrooms, but it takes real cojones to go out in the real world and film yourself doing it. In a real bathroom with your boyfriend, in your neighbor's yard, or even in a clearing off an English country road with two of your closest friends—these guys are not afraid to take risks, and we thank them for their brave moves and fearless dicks.

Bradford: Nothing beats the breeze on your taint when you're getting railed in the backyard or a splash of chlorine on your naked dick at the pool. For those not-so-adventurous types, pretending your homemade glory hole is actually at your favorite club can be loads of fun too!

Fleshjack

Bradford: Lets be honest—not everyone is skilled enough to snag a perky bottom when they need to get their rocks off, and although it's always available, the palm of your right hand will never feel like an authentic butthole. Having a wild night in with your Fleshjack can be just as fun as fooling around with a WeHo go-go boy, and it certainly won't push you away or scream like its being hit by a flatbed truck. Once you learn the 'smash-it-between-two-pillows' trick, you'll be set for life.

Porn By Special Request

Neil: One of our favorite things about amateur porn (among our many, MANY favorite things) is the occasional video made by special request. Whether beating off solely for the eyes of that special someone, dressing up like a cowboy simply due to popular demand, or fulfilling a fan's birthday wish for a pair of cum-stained undies—the number of generous, accommodating dudes willing to go the extra mile to bring smiles to our faces and boners to our pants deserve a special toast on this day of thanks.

Bradford: These amateur hoes are hot, but you can't forget the charitable stars that also fuck their fans by request! The juicy faces fans make when their idols are slippin' in their backside are priceless, and while most of them aren't chosen in a "fuck this pornstar" contest, mostly all of them go above-and-beyond the call of duty to please these pros.

Body Hair

Bradford: Naked mole rats are so 2003 MTV Spring Break. If you're expecting us to consume your "real men" porno, we're not buying it unless that "real man" is covered in a thick, luscious rug. We're not looking to get lost in your tangled weave, but we wouldn't mind running our fingers through Jimmy Fanz's forest, getting Paddy O'Brian's wiry tummy hairs caught in our teeth, or diving face-first into Josh Long's fuzzy cheeks.

Neil: Agreed. There's nothing better than a bear with perfectly placed fur, except maybe a ripped hairy daddy... or a young jock with perfect ab-pubes. Or a muscle god covered in a light dusting of soft down. Or two of them fucking.

Surprises

Neil: Sometimes all it takes is that special little something jumping out of a routine homemade porno to really make it pop. From a mysterious helping hand reaching in to spice up a solo, to a sneaky house pet peeking in when we least expect it—every surprise is like Christmas coming early, or even three guys cumming all over each other.

Bradford: Ah, the oldest trick in the book is also the hottest. Clutching your pearls while watching porn is the highest form of flattery, and the only things that makes us gasp more than rival pornstars hate-fucking each other are the surprise flip-fuck and the dude that cums more than THREE times.

Neil:  By the way Bradford, that's a lovely pearl necklace you're wearing. I've got one just like it on my XXXMas list this year.

Clothing

Bradford: The only thing sexier than a naked man is a half-naked man that keeps his clothes on before climbing into bed. There's something about a man too busy to undress that drives us wild, and luckily for us, pornstars keep their clothes on more often than you'd expect.

• Socks and shoes: Whether you're wearing your favorite technicolor dream tubes or a standard ankle sock, it's really the easiest item to keep on (and the most difficult to find under the bed when you're finished). We award bonus points for boys who wear sneakers to bed, because the only thing we love more than a hard dick is a limited edition hi-top.

• Underwear: It's easy to get fucked in a jockstrap, but only the best can manage to pound a hole in a pair of Hanes boxer briefs. You can try it at home, but nothing beats getting fucked in the locker room in your sweaty gym undies.

• Shirts: Be careful, it's easy to end up looking like a creepy site owner if you choose the wrong sex shirt. Your attitude is key while wearing sex shirts—try playing "the man in charge" or "the asshole frat boy." There's a lot of things you can do with a shirt, but frat boys almost always win.

• Pants: Believe it! Some guys can reach completion without even unbuttoning their pants! (Okay, you may have to unbutton your pants for this one.)

Neil: Oh, this dude gets it done without so much as unbuttoning his shorts, at work.

Twitter

Bradford: You can't properly be obsessed with a pornstar unless you follow their every move on Twitter; it's like following real celebrities, except these guys openly promote their sex tapes. Without the magical stalking service, we would have never known Danny Palick is a kazillionaire, what Bryan Cole is listening to at the gym, which cute studio assistants may be fucking the employees, or Paddy O'Brian's love for premium kush.

There's a lot to learn on Twitter, but nothing beats the live pornstar meltdown or the gratuitous noodz you can't find anywhere else.

Neil: Xtube sensation and Spunk Lube creater STR8cam Jeff lets us in on his every waking move, just in case you're wondering what he's eating for Thanksgiving dinner, or how often he walks his dog.