If Austin Wolf Fucked Everyone On Earth Like This, There Would Be No War

[jwplayer id="7179445"]

When we gave Randy Blue's human teddy bear Austin Wolf the title of The Hottest, Most Sensual, Most Amazing Pornstar of the Millennium, we weren't joking. It's an actual title that we have bestowed upon this brilliant fuck machine, and almost one year later, we still stand by it.

There's something about this man that just screams sex.

The way he works that dick can make you feel like the only person that ever truly lived.

The way he slowly grinds his hips into your butt cheeks as he leans forward to make out with you like you're the only boy on Earth will leave you speechless and craving more.

He's 234 pounds of All-American jock muscle, was voted "Rentboy's Best Top," and is literally the greatest fuck on the planet.

He can dick down straight boys in a way that makes them never consider having sex with a woman ever again.

He's perfectly capable of taking gigantic cocks, but he's versatile for you because baby, you're the only person that matters right now.

Did we mention straight boys can't get enough of that dick?

Austin Wolf is clearly perfect, and he has a way of shafting a man so beautifully that there is no adjective on Earth that could do his method justice. He fucks with such conviction—he isn't just a great pornstar, but a man that has perfected the art of performing in front of the camera in a way that will make you break up with your boyfriend and whip out your wallet to rent him for a night even though you "never do this."

For these reasons, we feel that if Austin Wolf fucked every person on Earth like he does Brett Swanson, there would be no war. World peace can be found in Austin Wolf's dick, and I hope he fucks me for free for writing this we'd all be better off if we imagined it were us throwing our legs over his shoulders and bouncing on that cock like an exercise ball.

This is the future of America. This is the future of our children. Austin Wolf's dick is the future of humanity.

[jwplayer id="7179448"]

· Watch Austin Wolf fuck Brett Swanson at Randy Blue (RandyBlue.com)

Follow Bradford Matthews on Twitter | Sign up for the Fleshbot newsletter