Tom Daley Probably Having Hot Gay Sex In New Gay Relationship

The Internet echoed with orgasmic squeals this morning as the world's favorite pocket bottom, rarely-clothed Olympic diver Tom Daley, revealed his fluid sexuality in a video announcement on YouTube. "Come spring this year, my life changed massively," he said. "I met someone, and they make me feel so happy, so safe, and everything just feels great. And that someone is a guy."

(I'll pause here if you need to grab a towel.)

You can thank The Mirror for his frank revelation—Tom admits that a botched "article" the paper ran back in September proclaiming he was "NOT gay" in all caps above the caption "Tom loves girls" made him "feel really angry and frustrated." The fact of the matter is that Tom Daley is apparently bisexual, and now that he's happily going to bed with other men, he'd like you to know the truth. (Hate to say I told you so, but I did here, here, here, here, here, and I think it was pretty obvious here.)

As expected, the self-righteous newsmakers of the world have spun this story into a discussion about bisexuality in defense of Tom's potential future girlfriends—"I still fancy girls," he says once. They're clearly missing the point, which is the fact that Tom Daley officially enjoys having anal sex with men (he's a bottom) and is happily doing so sans labels. Whether he's gay, bisexual, or straight and desperate for publicity, he is most likely having super hot sex with an equally jacked dude and that's all that really matters in the end.

So who is the lucky man feeling the inside of Tom Daley's butthole? I won't speculate too much, but I will say that I'm praying it's fellow Team GB diver Jack Laugher, the insanely hot "straight" dude gracing the cover of October's Gay Times magazine.

Cross your fingers for a sex tape!

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