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Introducing a better reason to wander the hallowed halls of suburban consumption than sipping smoothies and talking shit with your girlfriends.
That's right, it's penis. Beautiful, delectable uncut penis. This lucky cocksucker (who, we must say is like movie star hot), scores himself a horny, adventurous type who films them getting naughty behind the wheel of his car. His high pitched moans seem fitting for a dude we're pretty sure works the counter at American Eagle. Be sure to catch our new favorite shotgun hottie whip out his dick and shoot a load of his own.
Just when we were planning to do all of our holiday shopping online.