I don't want to be the guy who cried taint overload, but, it finally actually happened. My taint fell out. Literally! It's currently cowering on the floor under my chair after seeing creamy McCreamerson Nolan Gould looking fine as fucking hell on the 69th Annual Emmy Awards red carpet! Our favorite eighteen-year-old sassy starlet looks dapper and fuck. a. ble. in a dark blue tux complete with a chunky ring. And dick. I hope.
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While we've gotten to see Gouldy Two Shoes in various states of undress thanks to his shirtless and semi bulgy Insta shenanigans, there's something about a man in a tux that's hard to beat, and easy to beat off to. I don't know what it is! I do know that Gould's hair is on point here, and he's giving the cameras chin and adorbs smile for days. Hit the gallery for all the creamy Gouldness you can handle! Are you digging this look? Is there another Emmy hottie who deserves this post instead of Nolan? Obviously not, but just asking anyway.
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