Battle of the Hunks: Brad Pitt Penis v. Justin Theroux Penis

September 23, 2016
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Now that Angelina Jolie is done picking off of Jennifer Aniston's scraps, it seems like a damn good time to pit Brad Pitt and Aniston beau Justin Theroux against each other on Battle of the Hunks! Thankfully both hotties have gone nude and shown butt and penis, and we've got their sexiest pictures to prove it.

The world seems to think that Jen is sipping her TEA like a Drag Race contestant right now, but I think she has bigger fish to fry - mostly doing whatever daily stretching are needed to hole swallow Justin's big ol' dick. While I was more than aware that Theroux shows off his cock in Six Feet Under and epic bulge in The Leftovers, I didn't realize that we can check out some amazing penis pictures from Brad Pitt. They're from 1997 when he was on vacation with the woman he was bottoming for at the time: Gwyneth Paltrow.

Incase you haven't been keeping up with the gos, Angelia Jolie filed for divorce from her lover of 11 years, Brad Pitt, against allegations that he's a shitty father. The thought that a CELEBRITY of all people could lack the patients, time, and dedication needed to parent an army of children just shakes me to the damn core! Marion Cotillard tongue fucks Pitt's mouth in the new Allied trailer, which had people wondering if she was Angelina-ing him right from under Jolie. With Pitt's previous record it wouldn't be unheard of, but the pregnant Cotillard recently came out and said that she wouldn't touch anything that had touched Billy Bob Thornton's greasy taint - in not so many words.

It goes without saying that the 52-year old Brad Pitt has been the gold standard for Hollywood hotness over the past few decades, and while he's questionably the precise moment when dog doo turns white, I think if given the chance you'd fuck the smugness right out of his tight ass. One look at Justin Theroux, on the other hand, probably has you grabbing ankle as you brace for impact. I'm really interested to see how this Battle of the Hunks plays out. Who's marriage do you think Angelina Jolie is going to break up next? Should be interesting to see!