What the Hell is Going on with Sergey Shubenkov’s Penis?

Russian hurdler Sergey Shubenkov recently went nude for a Russian Vogue photo shoot to spread awareness for his sport. While track and field competitions remain popular in Europe and America (sure), Russia is experiencing a waning interest in hurdling, running, and all the other stuff that you only watch during the Olympics, and the country has recently been having trouble filling stadium seats. No need to fear, Shubenkov is here! In explaining his decision to go nude for Vogue, Sergey said Via Sputnik News

I wanted to please fans, especially female ones, but if any males liked it, I'm also not against it.

I wanted to raise interest in athletics and in me personally, so that more people come to the stands. We know that track and field is not as popular in Russia as it is in Europe or America.

That first comment got attention from the media, since Russian government isn't super into M4M dumper diving. I'm loving Serget Shubenkov right now and he has a great ass on the Vogue photos, but WHAT IS UP WITH THAT BULGE that he was photographed sporting after a win.

The Jamaican athlete's face above says it all. Yes, I want whatever is under that cute little outfit, but I also want to know what the fuck it is. In all my years of analyzing bulges - which mostly entails looking for any sort of visible penis head crease like with our dear Prince Harry -  this one has be stumped. First, is the head on the opposite side of the penis? Or did it snake up and down and we're seeing the tail end? Also, no fucking way are those things under (what I thinks is) the penis his real balls! It's honestly too good to be true. Me if those are legit:

Here are some other revealing bulge pics as well as his nude Vogue photos. None of this helps me solve the mystery, but I do know that I'd attack that messy bowl of fruit any day. 

Via Sputnik News