You Will Love the Naked Men and Uncut Cocks From ‘Drink Me’

A blockbuster - Drink Me is not. A nut buster, however, Drink Me definitely is. The 2015 contribution to the crowded erotic supernatural gay horror genre follows a gay couple (who happen to fuck like rabbits) living outside of London. After allowing a stranger to stay with them out of the kindness of their hard ons, the happy couple's lives are turned upside down upon the realization that the rando hottie is a vampire responsible for killings in their area!

Although the film wasn't screened for actual critics, Super Reviewer Christian C. on Rotten Tomatoes writes: 

This film could have been much better with a competent director, but as it is, it's little more than gay soft-core porn with a vampire fetish element. I would not recommend this film to anyone other than Chi Chi LaRue.

And I'm sold. Hopefully unlike Chris (who by the way said on his Rotten Tomatoes profile that if a celeb was to play him in a movie it would be Vince Vaughn. Way to shoot yourself in the foot), you appreciate the art of hairy guys and thick uncut cocks. Actors Emmett Friel and Darren Munn play the gay couple living together, and Chris Ellis-Stanton is their thirsty visitor. When naked they all look pretty similar - hairy thighs, hairy chests, low balls, large uncut cocks, lean bodies - and I can only imagine that director Daniel Mansfield is laughing all the way to the spank bank. I don't want to be the boy who cried penis, but these dicks are really fucking hot. If reviews were written by gay men's privates Drink Me would get four stars!