Can you describe your dick?
I bet you can describe it like the back of your hand. Or better - because who can really describe the back of their hand?
Go ahead and try. Then try and describe your ding dong. Yes. Exactly.
Now, it's my turn.
(From memory)
(Whilst staring intensely)
I will say, that as well as I know my hang dang Cash, and his BFFs The Prizes, I didn’t know as many things about penises as I thought I knew.
And now you will too, with this infographic!
For Women, it’s 23 seconds.
And this probably goes without saying, but it seems like those boys on porn who seem to have sensitive prostates and cumshots that go on forever, are either faking it / embellishing (I’m looking at you Jessie Colter), or they’re just freaks of nature. (Looking at you, Mitch Vaughn and Jimmy Clay).
Tommy Defendi Fucks Jimmy Clay at Cockyboys
Mitch Vaughn Fucks Jay Rising at Naked Kombat
Don’t ever do it, and if you are, stop. Even if you’re well-endowed, we need all the length we can get. That being said, boys smoking and cigar daddies are definitely hot, if that’s your thing.
It’s used to treat burn victims.
I love my foreskin (and know many of you do too). I know some of you wish you were uncut, and I wouldn’t slice mine off for anything, even though some of you don’t know what to do with it. That being said, maybe there IS some good that comes from being circumcised?
It’s okay. Not all of us can be Dominic Santos from Randy Blue, the half-Black, half-Italian stud who can suck his own dick, and even do it while getting fucked. That’s too much multitasking, anyway. And if a cock is inside me, I have a hard enough time trying to concentrate on anything else.
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Dominic Santos Self-Sucks at Randy Blue
It’s called the Phallostethus cuulong.
I know you have puns. I’ll start:
“Are you sure this is a fish, and not…every single man ever?”
“Gives new meaning to the term ‘Dick head’.”
“ALSO gives new meaning to the term ‘going in head first.”
“Kanye West.”
Is it because it always returns to its owner? And that’s kinda what happens during the thrusting motion of sex?
I’m disappointed; I would have love to have seen him annihilating bottoms and their poor holes on It’s Gonna Hurt or Extra Big Dicks.
So if you smoke, use your penis A LOT. Conversely, if you don’t use your penis, DEFINITELY don’t smoke.
But the moral of the story is USE IT DON’T LOSE IT.
There have always been debates about how many calories a spoonful of semen contains. Some say hundreds; some say nearly none. The debate has been settled now. Drink all the cum you want to. But you may not need any more than Christian Wilde’s:
Christian Wilde Fucks Duncan Black for Naked Sword
Think about that next time one is in your mouth. Or, the next time you’re in the bathroom desperately trying not to touch anything.