9 Very American Things To Jerk Off To On America’s Birthday

Today is America's birthday! What better gift to give the nation you love than a fresh load of jizz you worked up on your American computer while watching some truly American gay porn?

Rubbing one out is proven to make the holidays more fun and exciting, so here are nine stereotypically American things to get your rocks off to this Fourth of July.

1. A thrilling gay porn parody

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Who wants to watch regular old porn when you can watch regular old porn stars reenact an exciting and familiar (albeit loose) storyline you're already a fan of? Men.com's slightly cheesy "Gay of Thrones" debuts today, featuring a fuck scene from deep within America's wetlands.

Nothing screams "America!" like a Greek system of brotherhoods that enable and encourage binge-drinking, bareback sex, and date rape. So grab a Solo cup and sit down for FraternityX's latest straight fraternity gang-bang that features a bottom sporting another all-American staple: the wife beater.

· Watch new guy "Nick" get stuffed from both ends at FraternityX (FraternityX.com)

3. Condom advocates having bareback sex

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Because everyone knows flip-flopping on issues is an American value. Porn legend Christopher Daniels appears with his first bareback scene partner, Marcus Isaacs, today at Lucas Entertainment.

· Watch Christopher Daniels and Marcus Isaacs swap loads at Lucas Entertainment (LucasEntertainment.com)

4. Sex in public

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Okay, okay. This may very well be more of a European thing to do today, but public sex outdoors has become synonymous with loving your country so much that I declared it the most American thing ever last year. One year later, sex in the woods is still very in and very hot over at Cockyboys.

· Watch Connor Maguire fuck Levi Karter in mid-air at Cockyboys (Cockyboys.com)

5. American soldiers!

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What better way to salute your country than to shoot a sticky load to the troops who keep it safe? Check out the Internet's hottest (and most hesitant) military beef over at Active Duty.

· Watch super studs Tim and Wayne shoot their loads in each other at Active Duty (ActiveDuty.com)

6. Steve Grand

Jerking off to unsuspecting underwear models is one of my favorite things to do, so I'm going to spice it up this Fourth of July by jerking off to All-American Boy Steve Grand's slightly homoerotic and totally self-hating music video. Then I'm going to Google pictures from his underwear modeling days and thank the Founding Fathers that my country doesn't enforce porn Internet censors (even though it kind of does).

7. Red cups and Coca-Cola

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Admirers around the world have taken note of America's love of the red Solo cup, major sporting events, trucker hats, and Coca-Cola. Get a huge dose of all four of these American staples with any scene over at Sketchy Sex, the American paradise where American boys are used and thrown out like paper towel. (And yes, the bottom in the scene above fucks himself with a Coke bottle, so…)

· Watch everyone in the neighborhood fuck this silly bitch raw at Sketchy Sex (SketchySex.com)

8. Anything Sean Cody

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I'm going to go out on a limb here and call Sean Cody the most stereotypically American gay porn website around. The scenes usually begin with the guys playing some American sport (baseball or football), and end with their beautiful muscled bodies literally leaking cum. God bless a nation that allows this to happen.

· Watch Dean and Eddie flip-fuck raw in Sean Cody's latest scene (SeanCody.com)

9. Black Spark

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America is home to the Midwest, a land of plenty where white muscled farm boys drop their pants and get fucked bareback at literally any time and any place. No one showcases this underground sex trade as well as Black Spark, our favorite anonymous Tumblr pornographer.

· Stay current with Black Spark's latest projects on Tumblr (BlackSparkProject.tumblr.com)

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