I Really Hope Bravo Delta ACTUALLY Creates The LOGGR App For Lumbersexuals.

This is what happens when Gay Twitter plays together without supervision.

You know how they say “there’s an app for that”?

And to explain said app, people will usually put together an app you know, with something ridiculous. “It’s like foursquare, but for people you’ve fucked.” “It’s like Yelp, but for people you’ve fucked.”

Next, we may have Loggr – Like Grindr / Scruff/ Growlr / Jackd / Tinder / GuySpy / A4A / Mistr / Squirtz – but for LUMBERSEXUALS.

One day, I was scrolling through twitter on my computer with one hand, retweeting myself with the other, and I saw that Bravo Delta had been crowned “Lumbersexual of the year”. I opened the pic, thought to myself “Goodness. Look at him. They are surely right.” And then, I concurred immediately.

I do concur. RT @QueerClick: @bravodelta9 gets our vote as best lumbersexual of the year pic.twitter.com/wGOgNghTF2

— Gay Porn Fanatic (@gaypornfanatic) December 4, 2014

And then Bravo Delta’s title was challenged, as someone threw Jimmy Fanz’s name into the mix, and pleaded to at least call it a tie:

@gaypornfanatic @QueerClick @bravodelta9 at least call it a close tie @Men pic.twitter.com/RpK24BQg3t

— Howard Andrew (@FabScoutHoward) December 4, 2014

Talk about two formidable opponents.

Although, I must say, even though I love Jimmy with nearly all my heart, Bravo kinda wins this title, at least in my head. Jimmy certainly looks hot in that picture – maybe the hottest I’ve seen him look. But you know what’s hotter than looking hot? Looking hot and having dorky technology smarts. In addition to being sexy, Bravo Delta can CODE APPS. So in my mind, Bravo has clearly won, but this is America. My vote doesn’t count for much. So these two are still somewhat tied for the title of “Lumbersexual of the year”.

At this point, it was suggested that the tie be broken with a log-splitting contest. Many logs were volunteered. Though I had a curiosity boner, I did not volunteer my log.

It was also suggested that these two AT THE VERY LEAST do a scene together – “Lumbersexuals Gone Wild”:

@FabScoutHoward @gaypornfanatic @bravodelta9 @Men the lumberjackers!! I'm starting the petition now. Or perhaps lumbersexuals gone wild?

— QueerClick (@QueerClick) December 4, 2014

At this point, to make sure Jimmy Fanz came out on top, Men.com posted some GIFs of Jimmy Fanz splitting his log in the woods:

@QueerClick @FabScoutHoward @gaypornfanatic @bravodelta9 pic.twitter.com/Eys51nu5l3

— Men.com (@Men) December 4, 2014

Talk about a man that knows how to get down in the woods with some big, heavy tools.

And then it was suggested that instead of a porn scene, this whole “Lumbersexual of the year” idea could be morphed into an entire app – something like Lumberjacker or LOGGR. Creatives and wireframes were even drawn up:

@FabScoutHoward @gaypornfanatic @bravodelta9 @Men @JimmyFanz pic.twitter.com/ziDPsGO2ri

— QueerClick (@QueerClick) December 4, 2014

THIS is why we can’t have nice things.

But then Bravo Delta even said he could code the app.

@QueerClick @FabScoutHoward @gaypornfanatic @Men @JimmyFanz I could totally code this for real though

— Bravo Delta (@bravodelta9) December 4, 2014

And I seriously hope it happens.

Not just because the world definitely needs another hookup app, seeing as lumbersexuals are VASTLY under represented in society, but because technological smarts are super sexy.

While the LOGGR app is a dream of mine that has probably zero chance of ever happening, I hope that this scene between Bravo Delta and Jimmy Fanz happens one day.

On second thought, can “Lumbersexuals Gone Wild” be a movie? Jimmy and Bravo in the first scene. Jaxton Wheeler and Bob Hager would be in the second scene. Tommy Defendi and Dirk Caber in the third scene, and Brad Kalvo, Colby Keller and Colby Jansen in the last scene.

Men.com, please make “Lumbersexuals Gone Wild” happen.