Gay Porn’s Slutty Reality Show Serves Underage Cock

Serves cock to underage drinkers, we mean. At least that's the scenario created by the second episode of the fantastically sexy "reality" show "So You Think You Can Fuck." This week brings bodies covered in lube and a health-code-violating fuck session on a marble bar that brings out the judges' claws.

This week's episode on DominicFord.com isn't as nut-busting as last week's bottom extravaganza, but it's got some pretty awesome sexiness to kick off the weekend.

The Challenge
The boys have to preen for a photo shoot with Pjur Lube, a sponsor mentioned as often as Project Runway's Bluefly wall of trash. Drips are poured down beefy pecs because we all need well lubricated nipples. He who poses the best, as judged by a Pjur spokesman wins. For some reason (forced cliffhanger) we won't know who won until next week. We vote for Tony Newport, who instead of posing with the bottle next to his pretty face, stuck it in his ass.

In other news, our Fleshbot Crush on Jimmy Clay may be fading after hearing him speak. After fumbling to try to form words, he brought special adulation to the black drape behind them. The drape. Thank god this competition isn't "So You Think You Can Speak Coherent English."

The Sex Scene
Newbie Tony Newport gets picked to top porn vet Mitch Vaughn, who was wearing a speedo that got caught in a shredder. Mitch clearly wasn't amused, calling the pairing "interesting" and "different" and not in a way that showed enthusiasm, because god forbid a twinky latino fuck a mature muscle stud. But, he's a pro, so he and his pierced taint got dutifully licked and pounded by Tony. Their scenario was that Tony was a underage drinker looking for a cocktail from bartender Mitch. Mitch refuses to break the law by serving someone under 21, but agrees to serve him his ass right on the cold hard bar.

The boys flip-flop, and Mitch is clearly more comfy topping. The sex is decent, but seems formulaic in comparison to last week. To make matters less personal, at one point we can hear the director impatiently shout, "Alright, let's go!" Snap, snap! Get to business, boys! The fantasy is momentarily destroyed. It's all made okay with Mitch geysering out loads of jizz, shooting higher than Old Faithful. Hurricane Irene had nothing on this cumstorm.

The Judging
Boy, these bitches were ruthless with the sex scene this time, making this segment the best of the series. They whined about how visually mismatched the duo were, insisting that porn must stick to its stereotypes of twink bottom, butch top. They're WeHo boys, after all, where dating is relegated to cookie cutter images of one's self. The judges take their critiques with fun seriousness, correctly commenting that Mitch overplayed the "fuck me" dirty talk, and Tony, being new, wasn't up to Mitch's verbal sex play.

Fleshbot's Final Thought: An okay challenge was undermined by making us wait until next week for the results. The sex scene was decent, but undercut by Mitch's slightly off-putting gay 'tude and a hurried director. The judges are the clear winners here, giving a spot on porn critic while remaining charming in the process. Tommy Stone can do a porn scene with us any day.

· So You Think You Can Fuck, Episode 2: Health Code Violation (soyouthinkyoucanfuck.net)