So Terrence Howard is a Fucking Lunatic

Okay, so we all knew that Terrence Howard wasn't right in the head. Between assaulting flight attendants and two out of his three ex-wives, it was always clear he had some anger issues, but little did any of us know that he's actually bat shit crazy. Thanks to a new interview with Rolling Stone (link below) however, we now have greater insight into the mind of madness. 

First and foremost, he and his third wife Mira Pak separated in 2014 and their divorce will be final next month, yet they pretended to still be in a loving, committed relationship during the interview.

Pak is here, too, tending to the child. Howard is looking at her now and saying, "When you meet your one, it's completely balanced. I don't have any greater authority than she does. It's the only thing that really works."

She smiles. He smiles back. "You know, all my checks from Fox are being held for garnishment, because of my ex. I'm broke as can be. But my wife, she did well for herself, so she's covered us. This place, she's renting it. I'm suffering. There's nothing worse than being a broke movie star."

Pak says that they're soon going to be buying a house of their own. "In Winnetka," she says.

"The suburbs," Howard says, "as soon as they free up my money." He goes on, "It's always been a hard road for me. I run into bad luck. But I run into good luck too, so it's even-steven right now." He nods at Pak: "I've got a good wife."

Okay, so that's odd more than crazy. How about Howard's temper, surely he's mature enough to take full responsibility for his rather violent past actions, right?

That time in 2001 when he was arrested for slugging his first wife (who he married in 1989, divorced in 2003 remarried in 2005, and divorced again in 2007), which led to a guilty plea for disorderly conduct? According to the police report, he had "punched her twice with a closed fist."

About that one, he is contrite. "She was talking to me real strong, and I lost my mind and slapped her in front of the kids," he says. "Her lawyer said it was a closed fist, but even slapping her was wrong."

There's a lot of evasion there, but he ultimately owns it. Move on to his next wife and a question of why she returned from Costa Rica with a black eye and all of a sudden Howard morphs into Sean Connery...

And what happened in Costa Rica with Ghent? "She was trying to Mace me," he says, "and you can't see anything so all you can do is try to bat somebody away, and I think that something caught her. But I wasn't trying to hit her."

Alright, so all of this makes him an asshole, but you're probably wondering where the crazy is. Well, how about the time he cured his Bell's palsy using his dad's electric razor, which also led to him discovering he was ambidextrous? 

When he was in high school, nerves in his cranium began to malfunction and paralyzed the right side of his face: Bell's palsy. He says doctors gave him a 95 percent chance of it staying frozen like that forever. His right eye wouldn't close, so he had to tape it shut at night. Determined to do something about the situation, he started applying electrical shocks to his face. He says he cut the wires off his dad's electric razor, attached one end to the fuse box in the basement and pressed the other to his skin. "I did that every day for five months and then I felt the slightest little twitch inside," he says. He recovered fully, pretty much. It was around this time he began to experiment with his handwriting: "The right side of my face behaved in a different way from the left, so I thought, 'Maybe that's also true of hands.' I was right-handed, so I started writing with my left hand and then I reversed the direction and started writing backward with both hands."

How about a random non sequitur to cleanse your palate...

 ...it's also in his nature to say things like, "I don't talk about my ex-wife because I don't talk about negative things," and later on to call out to Pak, "Hey, honey, where's the blackmail CD?"

Which brings us, at long last, to the really crazy shit. Terrence Howard not only credits geometry with saving his life...

He picks up one of his intricate plastic what-is-its and holds it to his eyes. "Like with these things," he says. "In those four years where I was shunned and walked away from everything, look at what I've created. But I was not trying to make this when I made it, I was just trying to find the four forces, so I took four planes and put them together where they fit naturally, an equilateral triangle, and it created a circle, a triangle and a square, and from there everything else was created just following my hands leading to a good place."

He also spends his days solving equations that would baffle some of the great minds of all time...

"Since I was a child of three or four," he says, "I was always wondering, you know, why does a bubble take the shape of a ball? Why not a triangle or a square? I figured it out. If Pythagoras was here to see it, he would lose his mind. Einstein, too! Tesla!" He shakes his head at the miracle of it all, his eyes opening wide, a smile beginning to trace itself, like he's expecting applause or an award. And all you can do is nod your head and try to follow along. He just seems so convinced that he's right. And that he is about to change the world.

Or, you know, he's about to lose his mind...

"This is the last century that our children will ever have been taught that one times one is one," he says. "They won't have to grow up in ignorance. Twenty years from now, they'll know that one times one equals two. We're about to show a new truth. The true universal math. And the proof is in these pieces. I have created the pieces that make up the motion of the universe. We work on them about 17 hours a day. She cuts and puts on the crystals. I do the main work of soldering them together. They tell the truth from within."

This reminds me of something...

Via Rolling Stone