Celebrate Viggo Mortensen’s Birthday With His Amazing Movie Nudity

October 20, 2015
HIS_EXCELLENCY

I know what you first think when you think of birthday boy Viggo Mortensen. "What a whore." JK you most likely think of him as ageless, sexy, stacked, and talented, but you HAVE probably seen more of Viggo than you have your sexual partners. Unless you're a taint nibbler of course. Unfortunately the oscar-nominated actor doesn't show his penis, balls, grundle, and butthole all the time in an attempt to breed you, but instead bares all for the sake of art. Viggo's a very serious actor who doesn't "really look for movies based on the budget" and only took the role of Aragorn in the Lord of the Rings trilogy to please his son. Ew, he also said in his The Guardian interview:

Making a movie for me is not always about being paid, but it is a new university course. There's no limit to what you can learn. I mean, it's perfectly fine for an actor to say I'm just going to learn the lines and get on the horse, but I happen to enjoy digging deeper.

EWWWW. Also he writes poetry. Okay reading about Viggo the actual person is turning into a nightmare. Let's just focus on his dick and balls. I'm going to pretend that this gorgeously severe face is just a lean, mean cum machine and the he doesn't publish his own poems.

Of all the Viggo Mortensen nudity we're going to see to celebrate his 57th birthday I have to say his back sac game is the most on point. Maybe I'm just an old fashioned gal but when a man bends over to reveal his dangling jizz factories from behind I get flustered. Right? Viggo's balls have the perfect amount of dangle for the back sac angle, and I'm pretty sure the actor sits at home just waiting for the next opportunity to show us his beautiful grundle. (Again this is my fantasy Viggo, not the one with an album titled, dear Lord, Intelligence Failure). Nudity time.