Hemlock Grope: See All the Nudity From Netflix’s ‘Hemlock Grove’

October 27, 2015
HIS_EXCELLENCY

Before writing this I had to Google Hemlock Grove producer and horror flick staple Eli Roth to see if he was gay. He hasn't come up on my radar before, but Netflix original series Hemlock Grove is feeling super Ryan Murphy-y and with all, the, butts, it seems like someone is using their producing power to round up some great jack-off material. It turns out Eli Roth is straight, but the show is gay, gay, gay gay gay!

On one end of the spectrum Hemlock Grove has die hard fans that believe in its goth campiness while at the other end you have reviews that are more amusing than those inspired by American Horror Story: Hotel. Although Netflix is stingy with its viewership data, me thinks the fan base for Hemlock Grove, though vocal, consists of about 10 people. If Grove's goth butt brigade was a Hail Mary to save the show it unfortunately didn't work because the third season will be the final, so... no more naked Landon.

In case you haven't tuned in to all the tail yet, Hemlock Grove is about a bunch of twinks and otters running around in the woods, fancy houses, laboratories, and abandoned buildings while turning into werewolves and vampire-ish things called upir. I mostly peaced out after season 1, because, honestly it's pretty much impossible to tell what the hell is going on, but after seeing all these men I obviously made a mistake! #Hemwhores for life.

All of Netflix's Hemlock Grove Nudity

Bill Skarsgård as Roman Godfrey

Roman. OMG what a hot name. Also, the way Bill works his hair and lips reminds me of Michael Pitt.

Landon Liboiron as Peter Rumancek

I would. I would 1000x over. One of the Hemlock Grove's many non sequiturs is that people kept commenting on how ridiculously hairy Landon's character is, and the show tied that in to him being a werewolf. Where's the hairiness? I could count the hairs on his chest and belly. And butt hair? Nowhere.

Kyle Mac as Dom

In picture one Kyle is the guy on the lower half of the screen, and in picture two he's on the right. After some close inspection with co-workers we don't think the bulge is real, but I unfortunately wasn't there to sniff it out so who knows.