I Know Which One of These Man Candies You’d Suck on First

Taste the rainbow

I can always rely on West Coast artists to make me want a huge all white modern house filled with super gay and super bright art. Do I want a ball of lint stapled to a polaroid of a ball of lint from a gallery in New York, meant to represent America's detachment from the brutality of the textile industry in developing countries, going for $50,000? No thx grl I'm good! Do I want a Hockney of two men showering together? Yes. More importantly, do I want some portraits of Hollywood hunks made out of bright candy? YES. 

If you happen to be in San Francisco on December 4th please head to the Magnet center and reserve one of these candy male celebrity portraits by artist Jason Mecier for me. My cap is ::checks wallet:: $5 and a Menchie's rewards card. The show is titled Man Candy and features portraits of Jon Hamm, Justin Timberlake, Nick Jonas, Mario Lopez, Andy Cohen, Joe Manganiello, and more. It's quite the mixture of celebs. From the gallery's press release:

Man Candy is a sugary new series of candy portraits inspired by the sexiest men alive! Hunky heartthrobs like Joe Manganiello and Tom Hardy will be hangin’ with Jon Hamm. Picture a bare-naked chocolaty Burt Reynolds centerfold. Andy Cohen has Tic-Tac breath. Don’t forget about the Magic Mike and Ike and Zack Gummy Bear Galifianakis. Mario Lopez is one Hot Tamale! Shirtless Nick Jonas has a Jelly Belly belly button. Legendary San Francisco sex symbol Peter Berlin will be there smoking a candy cigarette!

It's good that I'm not going to be able to make it to the opening of Man Candy because after a glass of gallery boxed wine I'm afraid I'd get the courage to pluck one of these candies off the sculpture and plop it in my mouth. And which piece of candy would that be? Why, the one representing the deepest part of Nick Jonas' armpit of course! The brown piece right below the green one. I can't imagine a more delicious morsel to suck on, right? If Magnet takes Menchie's rewards cards, nab Nick for me! 

Check out more of Jason Mecier's pieces in the gallery.