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I've seen enough 1970's dystopian sci fi movies to know that falling in love with a science experiment is bad news bears, but I'd risk the safety of the planet if it meant I could get this beautiful and obviously genetically tampered with amateur stud! With a model-gorgeous face, perfect body, nice balls, and tall drink of dick, this jerk offer (Broad City reverence coming) was programmed to make you horny! I'd be happy to do some genetic testing with that load of jizz!

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Cybersocket Ask Chad
Hey Chad,

I am typically a top and have limited experiences bottoming, and the reason is because it hurts too much. Every time I go through the same thing, clean out, hype myself up, poppers, lube, and try taking it slow. But the outcome is always the same, it hurts and I can’t enjoy myself and then stop him after a few minutes because it is too unbearable. How do I bottom without it feeling like I’m passing a watermelon?

Thanks,

- Novice Bottom
Chad,

There’s nothing that ticks me off more than a flake, and lately, I keep getting ghosted on the apps. I get tons of messages when I first log on but by the time I am ready, or the later it gets, the more likely they are to flake on me and then I end up finishing myself and going to sleep. How do I get a hookup to come through?

SOS,

- Night Owl
Dear Chad,

I am a little annoyed to have to even ask this but what is the policy on paying for dates? I recently went out with a guy for the second time now and I had to pay for everything BlOTH TIMES. He didn’t even reach for his wallet when the waiter brought the bill, or when we went to the movies! I feel like that’s so rude, like it should be his turn the second time right? Or do I have to say something about splitting the bill from the beginning? 

Thanks,

- NotUrSugarDaddy
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