Dirty Science Friday: What Causes Donald Trump’s Micropenis?

Via Illma Gore

Why are people talking about Trump's micropenis?

Ever since it was revealed in February that Adolph Hitler possibly had a micropenis, small dicks have been the talk of the town. Speculations on Hitler's hoagie were seamlessly, and almost poetically, followed by talks of Donald Trump's cock size after he hinted at carrying around a large orange dong during a Fox News debate. Head to the 1:20 on the clip to see his manhood mention:

Using the "whoever denied it supplied it" methodology, and considering that someone as miserable as Trump reeks of overcompensation, many people are speculating that Donald Trump could be the owner of a micropenis. Artist Illma Gore created the image above that was taken down by Facebook, and more recently the famed Wieners Circle in Chicago welcomed Trump to the city by selling 3 inch long hotdogs. 

So, what causes Trump's micropenis?

Micropenises are categorized as any cock measuring less than 3" when erect, and can be the result of a number of different factors. ::Carrie Bradshaw voice:: All this talk of micropenises over the past few weeks got me to thinking: What are the causes of micropenises? 

Hypospadias

Hitler actually suffered from something called hypospadias, which although a common cause of a micropenis, doesn't necessarily correlate to one. Hypospadias happens when the opening to the urethra is located somewhere other than the tip of the penis. It can open right below the head, in the middle of the shaft, or even at the base near the balls. Depending on the severity, the shortened urethra can make peeing and intercourse difficult, and can result in a micropenis.

Growth Hormone Deficiency 

Growth hormone is crucial in stimulating cell reproduction throughout infancy and childhood. Due to abnormalities in the pituitary glad ranging from tumors to congenital conditions, a very small percentage of people are inflicted with growth hormone deficiency. It most commonly occurs during the fetal stage and affects the cellular reproduction necessary for normal physical human maturation. GHD can often be treated with growth hormone injections or radiation (if caused by a tumor). If Trump has GHD and it was never addressed by his parents, he may be a sufferer of one of the more common side affects - a micropenis.  

Chromosome Abnormality

Got 47 chromosomes and a bitch ain't one! The most common chromosome abnormality in males is Klinefelter's syndrome, which gives guys an extra X chromosome. So, they're XXY, instead of XY. As you can imagine, this creates feminine traits such as some boobage, less body hair, and more dainty genitals. Though by no means 100% associated with a micropenis, Klinefelter's can create dicks that don't make it bast the 3" mark. For example - Trump's micropenis. 

Webbed Penis

A webbed penis is a congenital condition in which the shaft of the penis is buried in scrotal tissue (the name of my future band). Because the ball sac attaches closer to the head of the penis than the shaft, in essence what you have left is a micropenis. Of the conditions listed so far, this is the most treatable as dick length, including what is covered by ball skin, is often normal. 

Buried Penis

As you can imagine, a buries penis occurs when the length of the dick is not visible to the outside world. The uncomfortable condition is either congenital, in which surgery is required to enable a normal sex life, or it can happen if a man is overweight and his FUPA engulfs his dick.

Hopefully now we have a better understand of what could be causing Donald Trump's micropenis!

It's important to note that a lot of men live normal, happy lives with their cute lil' penises. Fellas, it's about the swagger, not the dagger!  

Via US National Library of Medicine