Dirty Science Friday: But Really, How Does Ejaculation Work?

September 30, 2016
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Welcome to a long fucking overdue Dirty Science Friday, where we one up NPR by putting the word "Dirty" in front of the words "Science Friday!" Last week's amateur video of a guy spewing a pint or two of semen (which turned out to be the product of movie magic) got me to thinking Carrie Bradshaw style: What happens during ejaculation? How is semen produced? How much semen do men produce? What is the speed of ejaculation? And other questions about the magic of that sweet sweet baby batter splatter.

What Happens During Ejaculation?

Even though you've probably been lining the pockets of Kleenex execs for years with your personal time, you might not be fully aware of how your semen is produced, and what happens specifically during ejaculation. In a nutshell, once the sensitive nerves on the penis are stimulated to a point of no return (either through sex or masturbating), they send signals through the spinal chord into an area of your brain called the hypothalamus. Your brain then sends signals back down to your junk, coordinating a series of impulses that will allow you to fill up your partner like a Boston Cream donut. Or just cum in your hand.

The impulses begin when the sperm from your balls heads through thin tubes, the vas deferens, towards your urethra. Before hitting the base of your penis, the sperm travels past the prostate to pick up what will eventually become the majority of your goo. After all, semen is actually only about 1% sperm! Once your urethra senses the backlog of cum, more signals from your brain make the muscles at the base of the penis begin to contract, and viola. While this YouTube video is actually horrifying, it helps to visualize what's going on inside your body when you cum, and I think it's worth sharing:

Facts about Ejacution

• The speed of ejaculation varies from person to person, but it averages around 30 MPH. This is of course useful because it's both hot too look at, and it gets the sperm way up inside of a woman's chalupa, where a human is produced.

• On average a man spews about one teaspoon's worth of jizz when he comes, but this varies depending on factors such as age as well as the amount of time since last ejaculating.

• So, what is semen made of? Turns out it's like a GNC in your dick, and in addition to the 1% sperm it's made of vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc.

• The muscles at the base of the penis contract roughly every .8 seconds when cumming.

• According to the respectable Cleveland Clinic this happens "up to 5 spurts." Since you Fleshbot readers have been through the trenches, I'm sure you can think of cum shots that exceed these plebeian 5 spurts. Does that include you?

So what do you think, are our bodies fucking amazing or what?

Via Cleveland Clinic and Gizmodo