Our Beloved Spartacus Tried to Keep These Enormous Dicks from Us

Due to some technical difficulties, we didn't see a bunch of gladiators disrobing and showing off their cocks in this week's episode of "Spartacus: Blood and Sand." But don't fret, we have them now, and they are worth waiting for.

In this scene, spoiled Roman lady Ilythia is selecting a gladiator to patronize, so they're all ordered to remove their prehistoric jock straps so she can pick the one with the biggest cock. After seeing a parade of pert butt cheeks we finally settle in on the winner, and it is a beautiful thing indeed. How did we miss this the first time around? Well, we were watching the show remotely on a device called a Slingbox that lets you watch your TV on a computer over the internet. It's a wonderful device but occasionally, if your internet connection slows, the footage jumps around a bit, sometimes imperceptibly. While we were watching, it jumped from them being ordered to take their shorts off to Ilythia choosing her man, so we missed all the dong. It was a bit surprising that a show this graphic would skip out on the goods! We think that Spartacus was jealous because he's not that big and made our computer miss it. Oh, poor dear. No matter how big that Gaul's dick, you're still our favorite!