Pornstars Really, Really Need To Stop Retiring

February 24, 2010
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

See the long haired guy with the dick in his mouth? He's not a pornstar. Oh no. He's retired. Malachi Marx is just the latest star to come out of retirement after a short hiatus. We're sick of this!

Seriously, pornstars, you are not allowed to retire, because you most of you come back sooner or later. It's kind of like the stores here in New York that perpetually have a "going out of business sale" sign in their window trying to lure in visitors who think they're going to find something special that's not going to be around long. How long did it take Malachi to come back? Two months!

That's right, this Fleshbot Crush Object made a big deal when he quit the game in November. He came back to do some escorting work and now he has a new scene sucking Roman Todd's dick on Randy Blue. As our friends at Unzipped point out, when did he make the scene? January! That's a whole eight weeks he stayed away from working in porn.

Seriously, Malachi. Jason Adonis, Diesel Washington, Collin O'Neal have all left the biz to come running back. These days, even really old favorites like Ken Ryker are returning in some way or another. Did you really think you'd make it that long? In fact, we don't want to hear it the next time a model wants to retire. Just shut up and stop working. We're going to notice that you're gone and you'll leave us with a bit of mystery to ponder before you make your triumphant return. And for all those who use the R-word while going out? We're getting ready to forget you!