If An Alien Were To Probe Us, We’d Want It To Be “The Visitor”

A sci-fi gay porn movie just sounds like a horrible idea, like something that's so cheesey that it would take away from the action. Leave it to Raging Stallion to make it into something inventive and classy with "The Visitor."

The movie stars Walking Work of Art Logan McCree as a Major Tom who has traveled far from home to investigate the human race. They didn't have to do much to the be-tattooed star (other than put him in some spandex Slick It Up gear) to make him look like an alien. He sits in his spaceship and watches guys fuck on his sophisticated monitor array. After checking out how it's done (and using a Real Touch masturbation device to add that extra bit of futuristic product placement) McCree decides to come down to earth to give it a whirl for himself.

After the scintillating first scene between newcomer and newest Fleshbot Crush Object Junior Stellano and Angelo Marconi, we could barely come down to earth either. Stellano is just gorgeous in a muscled, tattooed, hairy way that doesn't betray any of his masculinity but without looking like macho affectation. When he starts rough fucking Marconi while mumbling dirty talk in his ear, we just went into orbit.

However, McCree's first scene on earth, a three-way where he and Bruno Bond take turns on Cole Streets' ass, falls flat. He makes up for it (after an impressive show thanks to Lucky Daniels and David Taylor) in the final scene where he flips with Damian Rios. When the icy alien McCree finally takes it up the ass, his demeanor melts and we see McCree acting more expressively than ever before.

What could have been a campy disaster ends up being a triumph with first rate set design, some interesting special effects, and a few fantastical touches. Of course, it's the fantastic fucking that drives the movie home, but it's surreal context turns it from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" to "The Night Our Hand Moved Vigorously."

·Buy "The Visitor" (ragingstallion.com)