Some People Have Too Much Time, Animated Jizz On Their Hands

March 18, 2009
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

Getting stoned and playing video games all day is one thing, but making gay flash games of video game characters jerking off...well, that's pretty awesome too.

The newest naughty gaming distraction over at Humplex is a rendition of humpy Resident Evil character Chris Redfield (the real thing is below), practically naked with his dick hanging out. The player has to rub the cursor over his dick to make him cum.

While our roommate (who honed his skills giving $5 handjobs to fat married men from New Jersey on the Westside Highway) conquered the game quite easily, we couldn't ever make this guy come. It's like when you're hooking up with someone you're really not that into and you already got off and you're just trying to get him off so you can get your panties and head home, but he just won't come and your hand is getting tired and you just hate him even more for not coming. It's like that, but a computer.

Anyway, the game is worth a lark, especially if you'd always dreamed of what it would be like to wrap your fingers around the gun of a big hot zombie killer and pull the trigger. God knows it's better than diddling Lara Croft's Skittle.