This Pornstar Threatens to Kill Innocent Children by Erecting Buildings with Fake Steel

February 5, 2009
BRIAN-O-BRIEN

Yes, boys and girls, it seems like we need to go over this again. Another model is committing porn name fraud, and, this time, Jake Steel might hurt someone.

Imagine if a building was made out of something as light weight as Kurt Steel? It would go down faster than the editors of The Sword at an all you can eat dick buffet. Like we've said in the past, a porn name should have some indication of what the man is like. While College Dudes 24/7 stud Jake Steel is one of the hottest, tight-bodied twinks we've seen in quite some time, "steel" just isn't the right moniker. Using the hard metal pulls up images of big burly guys working in forges, and blue color blokes setting rivets in eye beams.

Maybe Kurt should stick to a precious metal like Jake Gold, Jake Silver (brother of "90210's" David?), or Jake Platinum. Those all say he's hard (like his cock) but he's shiny and new and something that you would make a bracelet out of, not, you know, an ocean liner. So, to recap:

Steele, Chris.