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Guys, Please Tell Me This Insane Facial Is Fake

AMATEUR
https://sprinkledpeen.tumblr.com/post/165807520814/massive-facial

 

What the fuck is even going on in the world? First we declare war against North Korea with a tweet and now THIS? Ay yi yi. Today's amateur peep comes from someone who is literally in possession of a pint of jizz at all times, and another guy who gets to bath his face in the gooey goodness! I know that the professionals will sometimes implement some off-screen movie magic for stuff like this, but what we're witnessing could be the real deal. Like. What is my life even.

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Hey Chad,

I am typically a top and have limited experiences bottoming, and the reason is because it hurts too much. Every time I go through the same thing, clean out, hype myself up, poppers, lube, and try taking it slow. But the outcome is always the same, it hurts and I can’t enjoy myself and then stop him after a few minutes because it is too unbearable. How do I bottom without it feeling like I’m passing a watermelon?

Thanks,

- Novice Bottom
Chad,

There’s nothing that ticks me off more than a flake, and lately, I keep getting ghosted on the apps. I get tons of messages when I first log on but by the time I am ready, or the later it gets, the more likely they are to flake on me and then I end up finishing myself and going to sleep. How do I get a hookup to come through?

SOS,

- Night Owl
Dear Chad,

I am a little annoyed to have to even ask this but what is the policy on paying for dates? I recently went out with a guy for the second time now and I had to pay for everything BlOTH TIMES. He didn’t even reach for his wallet when the waiter brought the bill, or when we went to the movies! I feel like that’s so rude, like it should be his turn the second time right? Or do I have to say something about splitting the bill from the beginning? 

Thanks,

- NotUrSugarDaddy
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