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Sometimes the world is so aggressively gay that I just know God and Jesus are beautiful benevolent queens, who, at least if this headline is any indication, like their men young, dumb, and hung! Highly fuckable nineteen-year-old dummy Nathan French got his bulge into newspapers everywhere last week when he found himself in need of rescuing after climbing Snowdon in just his Superman underwear.

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What a coincidence. This guy has the exact same body as me! It's nice to know someone else out there knows what it's like to be painfully toned and have -100% body fat. 

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If this perfect specimen of mature twinkiness hasn't already gotten paid for sex in some capacity, he needs a new guidance counselor. 

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Today's amateur jacker has the body that I envision myself having each March, and that I lay to rest in an empty coffin every September.

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As you can clearly see in the gallery, O'Donnell's specialty is giving grade-A gay face somewhere between Jack McFarland's "just Jack" expression and the shit-eating grin on Tom Cruise's face after exiting a public bathroom.

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 Tom takes to Snapchat to share his gifts with some lucky recipient, who we'll just pretend is a guy.

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No, Michael Bay did not produce these images. This is actually happening.

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Some things are best when viewed from afar, and that might just be the case of this dangerous dick, which lures with its beauty but then makes you rectal bleed with its size. 

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Dylan Minnette is a PIECE and a fucking half, and as of right now he's actually the most searched celebrity on IMDB. Could it possibly be because he takes a sexy shower in the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why? Take a look at his adorable bod and decide for yourself.

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