Painful, but honestly worth it! I've got another full-blown FEMA situation going on in my pantaloons thanks to Nick's Jonas' styled as fucking fuck (I think I stole that from Celtic) look at the Critics' Choice Awards! We can go ahead and file this under "iconic."
As you guys know, I would never in a million years want to see a fuck tape featuring the Jonasty brothers, Nick and Joe, because that would be seriously wrong on so many levels and just plain gross. Ew! I wouldn't want to even see a makeout sesh, with their hot stubbled jawlines scraping against each other, because again, EWWW. But I think for the sake of brotherhood I can sanction some light touching between the two singers, fashion icons, and media moguls, and light touching is what you can find in this new clip posted by Joe Jonas on Instagram!
I'd like to locate his emergency exit. Rite ladies. Rite ladies.
Nick Jonasty showed up to the premiere of his flick Jumanji with a plus one in the form of brother Joe Jonas, and the two basically stole the whole damn show with their come-hither glances and styled as fuck looks! Sorry Kevin, you're officially canceled. Nick's pants are so damn tight and his thighs are so damn huge that it looks like he's walking around on two upside-down triangles and it's my new jamity jam jam! Of course his hair is as dreamy as ever and he just can't stop licking those luscious lips, and basically my moisture level is about to call for some Monistat.
I'm honestly afraid to look down now because A) The knowledge that I used a Sharpie to fill in a divot in my Nikes will make me weep after seeing this outfit and B) I'll realize that I'm waist-deep in about twelve different liquids that spewed out of my body thanks to Nick!
There's nothing excellency about me today as I have let all of you down by not covering these insanely hot pap pics from August that feature Nick Jonasty chest hair for days and even his hot blue jeans bulge! He's accompanied by a random guy trying to steal his spotlight, and so help me God, if any of you say that random guy is hotter than Nick in these pics I'll lose my damn shit.
Sassy starlet Nick Jonas will always be our Woman of the Year, so it makes sense that last night he headed to the Glamour Women of the Year Awards in New York City, where he looked so highly fuckable that I can't stand it! Jonasty isn't back in full form until he at least goes shirtless - something he hasn't done in forty-five decades - but this hint of chest hair visible over a shiny gay club shirt and Steve Harvey funeral suit is just doing it for me.
When someone sent in this video of Nick Jonas reading dirty tweets about himself with the simple caption "dummy," I knew I was about to witness magic. Mr. Jonasty does indeed reveal, above all else, that he's just as dumb dumb dummy dumb dumb as we like to imagine while reading off Twitterverse's wildest fantasies about his holes and pole!
If you follow Nick Jonas' Instagram Story, you'll know that he's really into this idea of being a singer-songwriter sensation, which I think is a-freaking-dorable. He has his little headphones and everything! And a guitar. Aww I love you Nick. Like a kid with a little shopping cart at Trader Joe's. NE WAYZ, At Large Magazine goes INSIDE THE STUDIO for a behind-the-scenes look at Mr. Jonasty as he fine-tunes his musical prowess.
Last week Nick Jonas completely shut down anyone competing in the generic forgettable pop music arena with his breakout sensation Find You! What I found out was that I would have to wait until today to see the full music video that he's been teasing the fuck out of on Instagram. Worth, the, wait!
We're here for this!
...but now the dry spell is over, and mama needs to lay down a tarp.
Yummy little fucker.
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