Our love affair with newest Fleshbot Crush Object…

We never got into the new “90210,” cause we can…

We have already figured out that next year on “Gossip Girl” everyone is going to end up at Yale (except hopefully Jenny and Vanessa). In our fantasies, Dan Humphrey is going to spend a year abroad in Poland where he gets involved in gay porn, gets fucked in the ass by some hot stud on a balcony and then can never win back the heart of Serena because she is way too busy worry about Balenciaga blazers to understand the deal with gay for pay. If that actually were to happen, it would look something like this. Yes, the bottom looks enough like Penn Badgley that we will continue to fantasize and hope that Dan make his way from the Upper East Side to Eastern Europe.

One in 210,640 people die falling down the stairs. At least one of those incidents has to be due to some sort of sexual activity while traveling between floors–and shouldn’t something like that be featured on an episode of “Gossip Girl?” These boys should take it to the bedroom where they can have a nice safe blowjob without danger to life, limb and penis. But hey, since it’s already filmed, why don’t you just sit back and enjoy this hot blowjob delivered by a sexy daddy to a faceless man who likes to walk (or get blown) on the wild side.