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I'll take "Headlines I prayed I'd never write" for $500 Alex.

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If we had the Grindr emoji symbols to choose from, I'd send an eggplant and then an anus holding up an SOS sign.

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A mere three days ago we all creamed ourselves over nude pictures of the unfathomably gorgeous model Jhona Burjack. Well, now we have actual footage of the stupidly hot Brazilian in motion, and something tells me you won't be able to handle it!

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We last got a look at the smoking hot model Karlo Martinez back in December, and the Gods of Peen heard your prayers because he's back and harrier than ever in a new and nude spread from Toh! Magazine.

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The gorgeous Aussie shows off his perfect peen in the new drama, and we've the got entire clip right here!

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Fine under: My type. Robert De Niro has always had swagger for days, but his cockiness was never so sexy as in the Bernardo Bertolucci flick 1900! See the full scene where the gorgeous guy goes full frontal gets a little gay with a young Gérard Depar-don't-mind-if-I-do!

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This jumpy jacker explores every inch of his apartment, and his dick, before finally waxing the floor with his load. We've got a star in the making!

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The celebrity is surrounded by hot boys and uncut cocks while posing for AnOther Magazine.

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