It’s winter in America, but it’s summer in…

Hooray! We no longer have to consider ourselves…

Today we ran into a comparative rarity: Two of…

This set of videos makes us ashamed at how…

With every version of Superman that Hollywood…

While some folks are just now discovering those (possibly enhanced) photos of Michael Phelps showing off the aerodynamic properties of the new Speedo LZR Racer at its launch event last February, we here at Fleshbot have always had a patriotic interest not only in the stunning verticality of his junk but in the way it competes for our attention with that Olympics ring-festooned pubic bone of his as well. (There’s a reason it was mentioned in the New York Times last week, you know.) See a couple more reasons why he’s making us proud to be American after the jump.

O hai, professional glamourpuss Tyler Kenyon.

We have to admit that we’re not 100% comfortable…

In case you haven’t consulted that sexy fireman/priest/dishwasher calendar lately, it’s July already, folks, which can mean only one thing: exuberant displays of half-naked nationalism! Canadian readers got their dose on Tuesday, the French get theirs the week after next—and we, like the Baby Bears that we are, are just right in the middle. (Brits, for reasons still unclear, got their special day back in June. Which seems a little antisocial to us. Just sayin’!) In preparation for our staff trip to the beach pool lawn sprinkler, we looked high and low for skimpy swimwear to express our true Inner American. And what do you know? There’s a heck of a lot of Old Glory-inspired beachwear out there than we ever would have imagined. (Or would ever wear ourselves, but that’s another story.)

Well hello, Alan Ritchson.

Since it’s been at least a couple of weeks since we last introduced you to a new underwear brand with an oh-so-cleverly spelled name, may we introduce you to the boys at TeamM8 and their sexily nationalistic line of skivvies? There, now you’re all caught up …

Apparently, the advertising geniuses at swimwear and underthingie company IQONIQ are on a mission to help (presumably straight) guys lose the board shorts and get over their fear of ball-and ass-hugging micro briefs.

We might be sick of sexy costumes by this point in this year’s seemingly interminable Halloween season, but hot celebrity bulges are forever … even if some bulges are clearly more hot than others.

Say what you will about model, actor, and gay-icon-in-the-making Rusty Joiner, but no one can work a pair of skintight biking shorts quite like he can. As if anyone ever doubted that in the first place?

Musclepup Gio Ortega, the ridiculously hot Fleshbot fave who spends his days putting out fires for the FDNY and many nights starting them as a dancer-slash-stripper, shakes his moneymaker(s) in a sensual shower on YouTube. Alas, the hose stays under wraps, but that wet mesh fabric doesn’t leave a whole lot to the imagination.

Matthew McConaughey is the perfect package, what with that acting talent and Colgate smile and bubble butt and all. Not to mention his own perfect package, which apparently hangs left.