We knew the Olympic coverage was missing something—we just couldn’t quite put our finger on it. It took our friends over at New Now Next to make us realize what we were missing in all the butch, he-man competitiveness: drag queens! It’s true—whether it’s a simple karaoke night or a bachelorette party, drag queens make everything more exciting. And the Olympics are no exception.

We’ve been obsessed with the XXX Olympic Games mostly because they sound like porn and are filled with hot guys. So many hot guys that we wish they would all rip off their outfits and beat off their fat meat for us. Sadly none has yet, but CubVoyer is certainly doing it. He may not get a medal, but we’ve got an award for him right here.