It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a non-gay bar never more resembles a gay bar than when a big soccer game is being broadcast. And, boy, were we deceived this weekend. Euro Cup 2012 had its final matches, with Italy and Spain playing for the championship on Sunday, and

We’re not sure what it is, the silky elastic feeling, the macho jock appeal, or the fact that Tom Brady wears it, but Under Armour gives us a total boner. We would never buy it, but we’re glad boys are jerking off in it on the internet.