Whatta way to kick off New York’s Fleet Week! The frosh-faced boys at the U.S. Naval Academy once again perform the annual tradition of climbing a greased up symbolic penis to replace a hat. It includes a swarm of smooth, shirtless young’un’s, and a feast of male on male grappling. We wouldn’t mind being trampled.

Day-um! Although we encourage safe sex in real life, live out your raw fantasies via Corbin Fisher’s Great World Bareback Vaudeville & Gay Sex Music Hall! A cast of 9 studs — 9! — get freaky-deaky onstage in a never-ending series of butt-defying feats of sexual acrobatics! Honey, yes, we’re treating this like a Triple X Ringling Brothers.

The release of images from “Magic Mike” has grown from drips to a steady flow. So many hot photos are popping onto our screens that we’re receiving lap dances via laptop. Today’s shirtless celebs include more Magic Mikes, plus a few other hotties we would love to see twirling round the stripper pole.

Our mother certainly told us, because playing on the stairs could lead to falling, injuries, trips to the hospital, and nasty scars about your face and neck regions. For this guy, playing with himself on the stairs only leads to a jizzy mess.