Wouldn’t it be funny if the closet wasn’t a metaphorical space where gay people hide, but an actual real closet in a bedroom? And wouldn’t it be funny if, when you came out of that closet, there was a gay person there to fuck you senseless? That would be hilairous.

How we shamelessly hang onto every word of the cutest boys. Take our favorite modern day ’80s surfer, Tom Faulk, whose career we watch like a lecherous hawk. He conducted a recent interview that gives us a little more insight into one of the dreamiest twinks in porn today.

“Oh, the wonders that I find, in the adult playground in my mind.” Clint Holmes definitely wasn’t thinking about a playground quite as salacious as we found here. But if we’re gonna watch grown studs ride a seesaw, we’ll take the one strapped with dildos of all sizes. Who wants to take a ride?

Fleshbot Crush Object Jay Roberts goes to great lengths to show us his sex-hungry self. Recently, as he tried to give us a sultry strip show during his morning routine, the most horrible coitus interruptus ruined the entire scene. In this two part video mini-epic, fabulous Jay doesn’t bat an eyelash as he tries to reach his wank-off goal.

If you get too close to the water while at the beach, you could get something salty all over your body. The same thing can happen if you jerk off there too. Now we’re the ones getting all wet.