With beach season kicking off soon, you may be looking forward to some summer fun hanging with your squirrelfriends in the sand. But it’s not really summer until you spill a load to the sound of crashing waves. It’s true, we read it in a book somewhere. Might have been a sex shop, but whatever. That’s where we learn all our life lessons.

You can do it on your towel, in the water, you can even try out that trick you’ve been working on all season that involves a Corona bottle and one very lubed up asshole. Whatever the case, take your inspiration from our favorite beach-tasitc wanker Xtube user Punknine.

We’ve seen him whip it out on the beach before, we’ve even seen him projectile cum in the middle of a busy sporting goods store. If he can do it, so can you. You can do anything you set your cock to, we believe in you!

Go forth, and careful of getting sand in your crack.

megasquirt xxl beach wank cum (Xtube)

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We’ve been pinching ourselves, and it’s really true. Our boyfriend is back—and his thick, glorious dick is just as drop dead gorgeous as ever.

You may remember Xtube user Hungfitlad from one of our favorite jerkoff scenes of all time (or not, if he left you unconscious). Well, he’s back and this time he’s busting his dick out of some red sweatpants before milking out a big load across his hairy chest.

Is it just us, or do his pubes hint that he might be a ginger? Just when you think you know someone, they continue to surprise you.

Me wanking in red joggers (Xtube)

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Everything we know about physics we learned from watching amateur porn. True story. Friction, velocity, gravitational force—we see all three at work in this video alone. Learning is just more fun when there’s semen involved, don’t you think?

Xtube user ILIKEDINOSAUR generates heat and energy sliding his hand up and down his dick until the forces combine to propel his cum high into the air. Of course, watching it rain down from above is our favorite part, and just so happens to involve observing the cumshot carefully and on repeat. Man, we love science.

Go figure…More cum (Xtube)

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A lot of people think warm weather calls for outdoor sports, picnics in the park, or boat rides across the harbor. And that’s all fine, but it’s not really summer until you take your dick out to play in the sunshine and shower the earth with cum.

Xtube user MuchoHarding (great name) knows just how it’s done. Choose a secluded spot in an otherwise totally exposed outdoor location, whip our your johnson, and pull until you can’t pull anymore.

Bench boner (Xtube)

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Well he actually just blows his load, but from the added sound effect of cheering fans, it sounds like he really brings the house down.

We’re not sure about the whole smoking while tugging routine (unless maybe it involves marijuana), but when a dude looks like Xtube user JayBee91 he could do pretty much whatever the f*** he wants and we’d be hard pressed to look away. By the time he sprays his load, we’re more than ready to join his imaginary cheering section.

I didn’t realize I had an audience… (Xtube)

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Who needs a luffa or a handheld shower head when you could use this guy’s giant tool to spray cum on the glass door and then draw fun shapes with the tip?

Xtube user Briefswith4kin takes us back to when bath time was all fun and games, except instead of playing with silly toys he plays with his giant uncut cock. He positions the camera behind the shower door so his cum looks like it’s dripping down our screens, which really makes us feel like we’re part of the action. Also, it’s perfect for scrubbing where the sun don’t shine.

Cum on Shower Doors (Xtube)

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Cumming is a lot of things, but surprising isn’t usually one of them. Generally there’s a whole lot of pulling, pumping and heavy breathing before the moment of truth. Not with this guy—he packs one hell of a surprise party up his dick.

Xtube fan favorite Swimfan52912 is known for his big, powerful, crazy hot loads. Somehow this one managed to sneak up on him like something popping around the corner in a horror movie. It even hits the wall over his shoulder behind the bed—and we’re not talking the first shot, but the fourth or fifth. You’ll notice he spells it out in the title card before replaying the whole thing in slow motion.

Now that’s what we call a party favor.

accidental cumshot up my body (Xtube)

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This hairy New Zealand stud invites us to watch him strip, shower, towel off, dress, strip again, and finally pull on his big uncut cock. It’s a whirlwind journey worth every minute.

Well, actually this teaser by Xtube user TheFoxNZ only lasts about a minute, but we’re holding on to the promise of more (among other things). Apparently our furry friend has a buddy who helps film his videos, and together they make quite the crack team.

Teaser of muscle bear showering and jerking (Xtube)

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Well, really they’re both free—so it’s pretty much the deal of a lifetime. If for any reason you find yourself walking instead of running to seize this opportunity, you might need to stop and ask yourself where you priorities are. By which we mean you might have lost your damn mind.

Xtube user JayYaport and his hung buddy both have smooth, inked-up bods and really, really big penises. Maybe that’s what drew them together as friends, jerkoff buddies, and maybe even more? Dare we hope for a fucking video in our future? In the meantime, this double header is quite a show. It even has two climaxes, natch.

Two Big cocks Jay Yaport and Jorge Nieto (Xtube)

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If this hung stud were a character on Game of Thrones, they’d just call the whole thing off and handing him the damn throne. That dick isn’t taking any prisoners.

Xtube user @BenFisherr is a young British lad with so much potential, we’re not even sure how it fits in his underwear. Fortunately we don’t have to wonder long—this is a jerk-off video, after all! The only thing missing is an enormous cumshot to match the giant dong, but we’ve got our eye on this kid and we’re sure there’s be more to come.

Ben fisher wanking his massive uncut english cock (Xtube)

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Ever meet a guy whose dick reached past his nipples? Did his tighty whities cower in the face of his great-tower-of-Babel stature monster peen? Well, lucky you! Color us jealous.

Xtube user Briefswith4kin makes his full-coverage undies look like a string bikini next to his oversized package. He jerks and swings his uncut one-eyed monster until it explodes with what we must say is somewhat minimal flourish. But he makes up for it with over two minutes of after party action.

Side View of Jerking Off and Cumming (Xtube)

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Showing up on time, keeping a secret, looking the same in person as you do on Grindr—we always appreciate a guy who’s true to his word. This hairy lad promises a lot of cum, and he certainly delivers.

As you may have noticed from his username, Xtube user Hairy4furry is a big fan of the man-fur. He’s got a pretty fine coat of black fur himself, as well as a thick eager dick. As you’ll notice from the title cards, he actually splashes his chin with cum, see if you can make it out in the replay at the end. If not, you might just want to watch it a few times anyway and now we’ve given you an excuse. You’re welcome.

I am back with a lot of CUM! (Xtube)

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This uncut cocktease ends with a vocal, slow-motion jizz-fountain that you’re not soon likely to forget.

In addition to his fat uncut cock, Xtube user Krakatao shows off some steller motor-skills, simultaneously zooming the camera in-and-out while edging his leaky dick. We’re not sure what kind of cam this stud is using, but it certainly beats the hell out of a cell phone because the picture quality is beyond. Even dicks in real life don’t look this crystal clear. The fact that it’s glistening with precum probably helps.

slow lazy close up cum (Xtube)

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Well, really he’s everything we want and more—but when we think about it like that it’s kind of overwhelming, so we’ll just go with everything.

Xtube user Dude3430 is scruffy, inked, hung, and he owns a gold watch (or at least something approximating a gold watch), which leads us to believe that he’s not a broke deadbeat. Not that it would make any difference, sometimes you just can’t help who you fall for.

wank on xtube (Xtube)

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This is especially true of cum, as you might have guessed. When you stumble across collage of those mottled, cloudy stains, you’re faced with two choices: 1. Walk away (now where’s the fun in that?) or 2. Whip it out and have a ball (now we’re talking).

Xtube user Jusutan takes the righteous path to internet glory with this locker room wank. Now, we can’t really determine whether he might himself be the cause of said collage of mottled, cloudy cum stains (he of course claims he is not), but at the end of the day, does it really matter if he’s telling the truth? It’s quite possible we wouldn’t be able to handle it anyhow.

Locker room jerk and cum (Xtube)

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We’ve seen some big dicks before, we’ve even seen this big dick before, but we never cease to be amazed by their sheer enormity.

This dick is so big, if it were a high-rise building it would have a separate bank of elevators just to visit the top floors.

This dick is so big, when it sprung from Xtube user Spitface’s pants, we almost broke into a run for fear of being walloped in the face.

This dick is so big, if you and your loved ones were to grab on, it would act like a floatation device in case of emergency.

This dick is so big that if he got a running start, he could use it as a javelin in Olympic competition.

This dick is so big, we’re researching how to help it acquire landmark status, that way the whole world can marvel in awe at its natural beauty.

Or you could just watch the video. On a loop.

by the window (Xtube)

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Who needs a Fleshlight when you can fuck your own feet? We’ve been looking for some motivation to get back to yoga and by George, we think we’ve got it!

We’ve noticed a lot of pretty well-groomed feet on Xtube lately, but user Bigballsbangin really takes it to the next level. It takes him a minute to get into the groove, but once he does it’s pretty awesome to behold. Now, before you try this at home just make sure you don’t have athlete’s foot, because that’d be like giving yourself an STD and ain’t nobody got time for that.

Me fucking and cumming on my own feet (Xtube)

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Well, actually this dude winds up shooting his moster-load in bed, but he starts out pulling his peen in the tub and it’s pretty amazing bath-time fun.

We’ve seen dudes spray their cum in the shower, get drenched by a cum shower, and even soap the sausage in the middle of the bedroom floor, but not nearly enough beating off in the bath. So kudos to Xtube user Sfhubris for hopping in that hotel tub after a long day of travel to get down to the business of his trip. Apparently he’s in Toronto, but there’s no need to visit the CN Tower after seeing how high he shoots his pent up load.

Toronto Hotel (Xtube)

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We already knew that cum has a way of giving the skin on your face a youthful glow, who says the same rejuvenating properties don’t apply to your feet?

Xtube user Marqalma helpfully provides this at home demonstration video to show us how the revolutionary new skin care process works. Basically, you cum on your feet. We know, it sounds pretty simple. If we’re honest, we probably didn’t need an instructional video on how to do it, but it’s just so fun to watch! From the looks of it, poking a finger up your ass seems to help too. Go figure.

Feet Focused (Xtube)

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Two cocks sandwiched together in jerkoff ecstasy are hot enough on their own, but when they both manage to shoot their juicy loads at the same time? Well, now that’s just magical.

Xtube user Studfish23 is a young, submissive British bloke who enjoys being dominated by his hairy master. Though in this case, he’s the one riding on top and taking charge of their doubles match wanking tourney. Maybe it’s because they’ve been together for so long, like women whose periods get synced up, but their simultaneous cumshots are pretty darn impressive. Also, we imagine they’ve had lots of practice.

jerking and jizzing with my Master (Xtube)

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