We knew the Olympic coverage was missing something—we just couldn’t quite put our finger on it. It took our friends over at New Now Next to make us realize what we were missing in all the butch, he-man competitiveness: drag queens! It’s true—whether it’s a simple karaoke night or a bachelorette party, drag queens make everything more exciting. And the Olympics are no exception.
We’ve been obsessed with the XXX Olympic Games mostly because they sound like porn and are filled with hot guys. So many hot guys that we wish they would all rip off their outfits and beat off their fat meat for us. Sadly none has yet, but CubVoyer is certainly doing it. He may not get a medal, but we’ve got an award for him right here.
We’re not saying it’s right to put a camera and film people having sex. We’re not saying that we would be happy to find out a trick (or, even worse a stranger!) filmed us while doing the nasty all over a bed. All we’re saying is that, well, this video is really fucking hot.
No big deal. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before. Just some hot kid with a tight body and a cock that looks like a hanging slab of meat in the deli. You would think that we would get over seeing such things by now, but we aren’t.
Yes, this fine young specimen with abs and a huge dick is an Olympic competitor in speed jacking. It’s not a real Olympic sport as of yet, but it’s going into the exhibition phase. If it proves popular, medals will be awarded in the future. If Dr_Sexy_MD doesn’t reach the podium in this sport, we’d certainly love to help him train.
“What’d you do last night?” “Oh, you know. Just ate some dinner and chilled in front of the TV watching old episodes of ‘CSI’ and then went to bed. What about you, OhMy432556?” “I sucked my own dick and filmed it for the internet.” “I fucking hate yo
We love watching a hot muscle hunk work his junk while taking a shower as much as the next guy, but there is one thing that makes us absolutely crazy: when the wanker takes his camera into the shower with him.
Everyone knows that Madonna loves hot, young, gentlemen of color with huge dicks. What do you think of this one, Madge? Watch his performance and you’ll have him working on your latest tour (and catering to your ever need) in no time.
Usually we’re just waiting for a guy to take off his pants so we can see his dick. This guy doesn’t even get his long johns off and his dick is like “BA-DAT!” And his underwear is still on. Man, what a monster.
You thought this was just going to be a video of a straight guy beating off for the camera. Wrong! This is a straight guy reluctantly letting another guy suck his dick. Is there any better kind of BJ?
Let’s face it: we’re obsessed with frat boys. There’s no tip-toeing around the subject—we desperately tried to poach invites to every Delta-Chi-Whatever party in college, but sadly, we were never witness to any of the sexual shenanigans we see on some of our favorite websites. Seriously, where do these guys go to school?
You think those shows on A&E and Discovery like “Deadliest Catch” and “Ice Road Truckers” put people in peril, just wait until you get a hold of what is going on in this video!
The Olympics will be here any minute, and even though the boys of XTube aren’t really competing, we still have some categories for them. Obviously we’ve already found our gold medalist in who can cum the highest.
We’ve seen pervy public loving muscle hunk BBixby pleasuring himself in some crazy places but never at home on his couch. Finally, we get an intimate moment.
Not really. I mean, look at the rest of him! But you see it a little bit while he’s jacking. But you hardly even know it’s there. This is honestly the first time we didn’t need the dick.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is what equality looks like. Now that openly gay soldiers are allowed to serve in the military, we’re deluged with movies of randy soldiers touching each other’s guns. We love equality.
At night when we take our shirt off to beat off to porn, we totally have an eight pack, just like this guy’s. Yup, we also have a big huge dick like his too.