We’ve seen boys get fucked with some pretty weird things. From cucumbers to foosball tables to feet and fists, we’ve seen pretty much everything except the kitchen sink. (Though we wouldn’t be surprised if Raw Fuck Club released a scene tomorrow where Jesse Balboa is fucked literally by an entire kitchen sink.)

Of all the different ways you could poke and prod a perky little butt, the most naturally beautiful, and arguably the tastiest way, is by fucking it hard with your very own tongue. There isn’t a bottom on Earth that would tell you differently.

Sean Cody‘s  Taylor is totally with us on this one, too. Right after spit-lubing Adrian‘s hole, he dives in face-first and spends a few good minutes working it over with some deep tongue thrusts. This is Adrian’s first time getting fucked on camera, and judging by the the way he screams like he’s on a roller coaster, repeatedly yelling “oh my god, oh fuck, oh my godddddd….”, we’re guessing he liked it.

So spread those cheeks and dig in. If you really want to put a big smile on your bottom’s face, this is how it’s done:

· Watch Taylor fuck Adrian for the first time at Sean Cody (SeanCody.com)

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The enthusiastic Sean Cody bottom that “lost his ass virginity” on camera last month is back for a second helping this week, and he loved his “first” dick so much, he’s taking another one, some fingers, and a dildo this time! (Unfortunately not all at once.)

This one’s all about the finger play, boys. Charley is such a fan of finger-banging, he can barely last five minutes without touching his own hole or opening it for Abe‘s aggressive fingers. Charley told Sean Cody he’s had a major crush on Abe, and was hooked from the time Abe’s debut video hit the site. What’s better than models that are actually into each other?

Aside from being a pro finger-fucker, Charley is teaching basic bottoms everywhere the first essential rule of being a great bottom: Learning how to arch your back.

There’s nothing worse than a flimsy bottom that turns into a mangled hunchback as soon as there’s a dick in the room. Have you ever seen a sight more beautiful than Charley’s arch?

We didn’t think so.

· Watch Abe fuck (and finger!) Charley at Sean Cody (SeanCody.com)

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You’ve only seen orgies online, but they look oh so fun, so why not plan one yourself? Sure, you may need to clean up a bit and make sure you’re insured, but think of all the fun you’ll have with a handful of beefy cocks and hungry holes lying around the living room! Better yet—Colby Keller is looking for a few places to lay low on his upcoming cross-country fuckfest. You seriously need to get your shit together and make this happen for him. And make sure to invite us.

Not sure where to start? Colby’s made a handy video for Manhunt Daily that gives you the rundown on how to be an “orgy captain,” and what it takes to host the ultimate orgy. Check out the Resident Sexpert’s Top 10 list of things to plan ahead for. He covers the basics (inviting people, extra towels, etc.) and some things you’d never think of, like Beyonce. There’s nothing that ruins a mood quite like “Run The World (Girls)” blasting in the background while four muscle studs are filling you up.

And most importantly, our personal favorite: “don’t be an asshole… fuck an asshole!”

In Bed With Colby Keller: Ten Tips For Throwing A Successful Orgy

So it’s your first time as the guest star of an upcoming orgy. You’re ready to be pounded for hours at an undisclosed, email-for-the-address location, but there’s just one wee bit of consternation: how can you prevent any — *ahem* — accidents? Pull up a sling and grab your enema, duckies. Porn pup Christopher Daniels gives us a few pointers.

On his blog, Christopher describes in some detail his experience filming the orgy scene “Masked Men” for Men.com. First he answers the age old gastronomical question, “To eat, or not to eat?”

I know I need to eat the night before and the morning of a Porn shoot. I try my best to avoid dairy, Roberto’s Taco Shop and any food sold from a cart the night before I film, but other than that I stick to my usual low carb, high protein and vegetables diet.

About preparing body, mind and soul:

The morning of a shoot, I wake up at least 2.5 – 3 hours before my call time so I have time to prepare my body, mind, and soul. Prepare my body because my ass is about to get pounded, prepare my mind because some Pornstars are hell to deal with and a lot of times the days run long so its best to mentally prepare myself for the worst and bring a book. I prepare my soul by saying a few Hail Mary’s because from what I learned while living in the South is that Fags are going to hell and Porn is from the devil.

What of the anxious affair of douching?

I have no scientific proof but I swear to God Starbucks puts something in their coffee that makes you shit like you’ve never shit before. I will start drinking it and by the time I am halfway through my Venti cup I will feel like I just did a giant line of cocaine and my insides are about to explode.

Tasty.

To sum it up, I drink coffee, use the water closet, douche about 15 times with my reusable enema, hose out my hole in the shower and I am good to go. Also, I am sure to moisturize every part of my body. Nobody likes having sex with someone with ashy skin. Gross.

Now, darlings, you can walk your hole into that basement dungeon with pride.

· A Day In The Life Of A Pass Around Bottom (ctopherdaniels.com)
· Masked Men (men.com)

Let’s learn a muscle-building lesson from CutlerX here: When there aren’t any weights around and we’re in the mood for a workout, grab the nearest white twink instead.

Tim Tales shows us the proper technique:

1) Position the twink’s legs over your shoulders.
2) Have the twink hold tightly to your back and neck.
3) For proper support, slide your fully erect cock into the twink’s hungry butthole.
4) With your arms under the twink’s knees, slowly lift him up and down repeatedly.
5) Make sure your cock stays hard from proper balance.
6) Lock lips for additional leverage.

You’ll get a solid workout for your biceps, pecs, shoulders, and penis. As a warm-up and a cool down, try a blowjob or anal sex while in the fetal position, as illustrated below.

· CutlerX and Dani (timtales.com)

It’s a problem. You can’t go back to your place, and he has a roommate, or a boyfriend, or a wife. You’re not one for back alleys or bathroom stalls. So where to go? If one of you has a car, that’ll do just fine. But how can one contort oneself for a fuck session in such a tight space? Here’s how.

Car sex is terrifically intimate, more so than a bed. There’s the naughtiness of schtupping in a so-called “public” space. Since the quarters are cramped, you must constantly press right up against your sex partner with nary a place to run. If the windows are rolled up, get ready for the sweaty scent of raw animal sex to fog up the windows and thicken the air. Since a car is usually a last resort for two guys burning with desire for each other, the sex could most likely ignite the gas tank. Here’s our handy-dandy guide to fucking in cars, with a little visual aide from Steven Dehler and Milan Christopher from Monroeland.com.

Find a Private Spot
You can’t fuck right there in the McDonald’s parking lot next to the bar, or on the residential street where you mercifully found a spot 10 blocks from the nightclub. People may see you! Or, maybe there are so few people walking around at 3am that you can! The important thing is to make sure you’ll be undisturbed. If not, find a traffic-free parking lot, street, alley behind a shopping center, or any tucked away spot that 1) you know is safe from roving bad guys and 2) security guards or cops won’t catch you.

Move to the Back Seat
It usually roomier and lacks that annoying division between seats. And is a makeshift bed to sprawl out on.

Keep a Lookout
Unless you’re in a private garage, make sure no one wandering out will accidentally catch you. (Unless they’re hot and you want them to join.)

Crack a Window Open
Unless you’re worried your squeals of glee will be heard ’round the block, crack open a window to let in some fresh air. Car sex gets stuffy fairly quickly, what with all the heavy panting and no ventilation. Of course, keep the windows closed if you like it as breathlessly sweaty and sticky as possible.

Do the Seated Cowgirl
Since car seats are made for, you know, sitting, an ideal position is the seated cowgirl or the reverse seated cowgirl. Even if a dick ain’t nestled snug up the ass, it’s perfect for a lot of heavy grinding and deep kissing. Tenderly gyrate in this position, since a lot of hard pounding up and down will only result in the bottom banging his head on the roof.

Shift into Missionary
Since the back seat leaves room for only one person to lay down at a time, missionary is your best friend. As you flip-flop, get used to having your lover’s sweaty body pressed tightly against yours. If you’re the bottom, prop your legs atop the back seat ledge or the front seat. You can bask in prostate pleasure instead of straining your thigh and calf muscles.

Now you’re all set to be like a teenager and fuck your next buddy in his backseat. When you grab his stick shift, you’re guaranteed to send him into high gear.

· TRASHY TUESDAY – “CAR-MASUTRA” (monroe-land.com)

According to the history of books on sex positions, fucking is such a “joy.” There’s the classic hetero version “The Joy of Sex.” Now the Bel Ami boys are teaching us there’s a world beyond doggie and missionary in “69 Positions of Joyful Gay Sex.” Oh, joy to the world, the lord hath cum!

Why “joyful”? Why not “hot,” “steamy,” “unforgettable,” “ball-busting?” It’s joyful, like a bird chirping in the breeze, the sunlight bursting between the clouds, a rainbow arching over a pastoral field of emerald green. It’s joyful, like a church choir singing “Hosannah!” We suppose we do smile at seeing Dolph Lambert and Kris Evans take us through 69 variations to keep our cock hard and our partner aroused. It’s one of those beautifully packaged Bruno Gmunder coffee table books — the type you see in gay bookstores the world over but never ever ever on any person’s coffee table in an actual living room.

But if we walked into a trick’s bedroom and found this book on the nightstand, you bet we’d be flipping through it for some randy inspiration. We’ll raise our voices to that ode to joy.

· Buy 69 Positions of Joyful Gay sex
· 69 Positions Of Joyful Gay Sex with Kris Evans and Dolph Lambert (queermenow.net)

Massages may be one of the best everlasting porn scenarios. The dudes never jump right to the sex, because it’s not really about getting laid, is it? Muscles need to be relaxed, tension needs to be relieved. That’s it. Lo and behold, those hands always tend to drift a little too far south, and the endings are unexpectedly (yet completely expected) happy.

In the latest scene over at NextDoorStudios.com, chatterbox Brandon Lewis gets taciturn, furry-bottomed Paul Wagner to stretch out on the massage table, and vice versa. Of course Paul’s undies hit the floor and it’s not long before the dick muscle gets a rubdown from the lip muscles. Seduction complete!

Every horny home should have a massage table. They’re tip-top perfect places for sex, as this scene, called “Come Together” (get it? Hardy-har.) shows. First, each person has their turn getting fully serviced while laying on the table, and everything’s within easy reach. If you’re of average height, all dicks are mouth level, easily suckable by the sprawled out dude. When it comes to rimming and fucking, Dude 1 can lean over on the table in comfort as Dude 2 easily goes to town on that quivering rosebud. Even 69ing is easy-peasy.

Best of all, since massages are all about relaxation, massage sex ain’t about getting rough and piggy, but all about tenderly soothing the body until that spooge splatters all over the table.

Hmmm…me thinks we’ll be checking Rentboy.com for personal services.

· Come Together (nextdoorbuddies.com)