So it’s your first time as the guest star of an upcoming orgy. You’re ready to be pounded for hours an undisclosed email-for-the-address location, but there’s just one wee bit of consternation: how can you prevent any — *ahem* — accidents? Pull up a sling and grab your enema, duckies. Porn pup Christopher Daniels gives us a few pointers.

Let’s learn a muscle-building lesson from CutlerX here: When there aren’t any weights around and we’re in the mood for a workout, grab the nearest white twink instead.

It’s a problem. You can’t go back to your place, and he has a roommate, or a boyfriend, or a wife. You’re not one for back alleys or bathroom stalls. So where to go? If one of you has a car, that’ll do just fine. But how can one contort oneself for a fuck session in such a tight space? Here’s how.

According to the history of books on sex positions, fucking is such a “joy.” There’s the classic hetero version “The Joy of Sex.” Now the Bel Ami boys are teaching us there’s a world beyond doggie and missionary in “69 Positions of Joyful Gay Sex.” Oh, joy to the world, the lord hath cum!

Massages may be one of the best everlasting porn scenarios. The dudes never jump right to the sex, because it’s not really about getting laid, is it? Muscles need to be relaxed, tension needs to be relieved. That’s it. Lo and behold, those hands always tend to drift a little too far south, and the endings are unexpectedly (yet completely expected) happy.