We're Thinking Of Embarking On An All-Ass Diet Screen shot 2014 02 19 at 10.31.06 pm web

F**k the juice cleanses and bring on the hairy cracks. We can already tell this is going to do wonders for our endorphin levels.

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You Need To Watch This Guy Headbang His Penis Screen shot 2014 02 19 at 10.25.40 pm web

If you thought Joan Jett was badass, this guy really really loves rock 'n roll.

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That Time Your Roomie And Your BFF Fucked While You Watched Screen shot 2014 02 16 at 10.56.45 pm web

And filmed it while beating off, natch.

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Amusement Parks Should Offer Mustache Rides Screen shot 2014 02 18 at 10.35.17 pm web

Eating cotton candy while getting your dick sucked? It's like every inner fat kid's wildest dream! We have good ideas sometimes.

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Everyone Deserves To Be Fucked By This Guy At Least Once Screen shot 2014 02 16 at 10.18.36 pm web

If not 17 times. Likely in a two-day span, because your appetite for him will be insatiable.

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There Are Cumshots On Man-Boobs, Then There's This Guy Screen shot 2014 02 17 at 10.26.12 pm web

We've seen our (un)fair share of muscle studs tugging their peens, but holy shit you guys.

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Fucking A Bear Is The Only Way To Stay Warm Screen shot 2014 02 13 at 12.56.25 pm web

Winter ain't just coming—it's here, it's queer, and it's not taking any shit. The only real defense is to find yourself a bear (or a cub, or a wolf), and wrap yourself up in his furry, furry arms.

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Beat Your Meat Off The Beaten Path Screen shot 2014 02 16 at 10.51.24 pm web

Off-road biking only ever has one proper destination in our opinion, and that's Sementown.

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They're Like A Futuristic Sitcom Couple Who Blow Each Other Screen shot 2014 02 13 at 11.15.41 am web

The posed portraits on the wall, their wholesome faces, those winning smiles—these two (and their boners) belong on the tube. Like Leave It To Beaver, but hold the beaver.

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Super Bowl Fan Tugs One Out For The Home Team Screen shot 2014 02 13 at 10.56.48 am web

With a very special appearance by his curious K9.

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Kitchen Sex Is The Best Way To Work Up An Appetite Screen shot 2014 02 11 at 11.09.00 pm web

What's better than an ass appetizer, or an uncut amuse bouche?

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Nothing Beats Cum Drenched Muscle Worship Screen shot 2014 02 11 at 11.16.09 pm web

My, what big arms you have! The better to tug on your enormous, flawless penis.

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Face Fucking Is The New Butt Fucking

If this stud thinks so, we're sure it won't be long until the rest of the world is on board.

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Hung British Twink Vies For Most Perfect Cock Ever

We'd say he's in the lead, mostly because the sight of his dick makes us forget all that came before.

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Getting Drilled By An Army Sargent Is As Hot As Is Sounds

Especially if he's inked, hung, and keeps his dog tags on while he hits you doggy style.

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