Well, duckies, it’s time for your faithful Fleshbot blogger Cedric DeWittison to walk off into the sunset towards that promised Never Neverland of Retired Porn Bloggers. This is my final blog, the one in which I finally reveal who I am.

We want this man.
He is slim and hairy and has a beautiful face.
His name is Matthew Kirk.

“To Fuck A Predator: Gangbang” is orgy bliss. If you’re a freak who is perfectly content watching eight men suck and fuck each other for over an hour straight on one set, you’ve found your nirvana.

Why, oh, why, with the current short shorts trend, can’t we see glimpses of nutsack like we do here? Trust us, with all the beefy leg we see walking around on the more stylish queens in Manhattan, we’re certainly looking!

It doesn’t ever get old to us, but so few of our tricks wanna play doctor. That silly childhood game of “Let’s Pretend” simply doesn’t translate as well to two grown men manhandling each other after getting home from a late night of drunken bar hopping. Thank god we’ve got Conner Maguire and Adam Hardy to remind us how fun it can be.

As thermometers start rising, the shirts of famous men start coming off. Here’s a peek into what what we’ll see once the floodgates have opened up for the rest of Summer 2012/

Yes, they are. There is absolutely no reason for Brad Kalvo and Doug Acre to be wearing singlets in the same set Jake Cruise uses for all his scenes. Yet, it’s hot as all hell. the mere fact that they’re skin tight, reveal lots of skin and cock outlines is enough to make us pop instant boners.

Is it just us, or do drag queens get all the hot men? We’re always seeing some photoshoot or video of some glammed up queen putting on her most dour scowl while being allowed to manhandle an orgy of drop dead gorgeous manflesh. If all we have to do is buy a dress, slap on a wig, paint our faces and tuck, then guuuurl, make us ovah!

Usually, we have a slew of pithy annotations or semi-clever rhymes to spice up our weekly brew of naked Guys with iPhones. This week–*sigh*–we’re plum tuckered out. Don’t kill us, comment instead!

Pornstar Marcus Mojo is driving dangerously. In these two video clips, he ferociously jacks off while driving, obviously distracted from the road. We’ve been horny as hell behind the wheel, but our advice is pull over, before more than cum splatters across the windshield.

Here’s a real case for Hot or Not? Chris and Charlie Compton are brothers, who have sex with each other, but they aren’t twins. We got all hot and hard for the Peters Twins, but twincest somehow became the norm. Now, what about these two relations?

If a youngish Hollywood heartthrob shows his genitals, every gay blog ’round the globe will post it. We’re no exception. In an artsy-fartsy music vid, Shia LaBeouf gave the world a good look at his bush, cock and lowhangers. Here it shamelessly is.

Damien Crosse has long been a porn favorite, but he sadly only seems to pop up once every couple months. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, particularly when we get this scary ass, scorching scene of Damien screaming at a stablemanboy. You BDSM role-players out there will cream within the first five minutes, especially when Damian (chillingly? hotly?) brings out a noose!

Yes, yes, last week we showed you several still photos from the new butt-flashing trailer for “Magic Mike,” but the lecher over at Arch Noble has one-upped us. He created .gifs out of the best fleeting seconds from the trailer. Who needs pause or slo-mo, when you’ve got a neverending loop of Alex Pettyfer and Matt Bomer humping and flashing ass and humping and flashing ass and humping and flashing ass and humping and flashing ass and…

We honestly don’t know why we’re fascinated with Virgil-Jag-Forrest-Clayton-Tony-Brady-Lyle-Vic-Russell, the blond porn pup who runs from site to site filming under an endless series of aliases and lies. Now, Straight Fraternity bring back his “Jag” persona with yet another fib: that is his his first blowbjob from a guy. Ha!

We’d be filled with considerably less…”anxiety”…if we had a daily redheaded stud to calm us down. This delicious studpuppy looks like just what the doctor ordered. His name’s Palmer, and we’re in the palm of his hand.

Today’s a plethora of sexy shirtless videos certain to entertain your restless libido. First up is the underwear guru Andrew Christian’s latest foray into gay porn–now with ballsack, genital facial rubbing and glimpses of butthole.

Well, we’ve been tricked. The smokin’ photo we posted yesterday of Taylor Lautner skimpy undies is totally not Taylor Lautner. It’s a really a model named Renato Ferreira. We found the original photo…and a whole lot more.

Eeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr……. we almost can’t type after watching this scene. Our hands are still quaking. When major pornstars Austin Wilde and Anthony Romero visit Austin Andrews and Zane Michaels like the Mertzes popping in on the Ricardos, the sexual heat is enough to make– oh, erghhh… heart…stopping…

It’s a bonanza of shirtless celebs this week! From some glorious butt shots from stripper flick “Magic Mike” to all sorts of manflesh in the season premiere of “True Blood,” this week hits the jackpot! And, yes, there’s a gaggle of beautiful boy buttcheeks, too.