April 11, 2019 | Posted in Editorial Features by
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Hey Queer Abby,
I think I'm having an identity crisis... I've always been a happy and carefree bottom, often fantasizing about getting fucked by Zac Efron. But his recent public appearances made me... let's say... reevaluate my instincts. How can I start exploring my newfound desire for versatility?
- Efron Fucker
Dear Efron Fucker,
The innate desire to take on a particular sexual role (topping versus bottoming) in a gay relationship is elusive and hard-to-pinpoint, and can be ever-changing. If you think about it too hard, you'll start to question the existence of penises, buttholes, and the universe in general. Our sexuality is influenced by what we're exposed to. As we see more of many celebrities than we do even our closest friends, it makes total sense that changes in the appearance of your celeb crush would bring about changes in your position preferences. This is an exciting wave, and it's one that we as gay men are #blessed to get to ride.
If you find yourself masturbating to the thought of plowing Zac Efron's tight bleached-blonde asshole, it might be time to incorporate those topping fantasies into your real life. Hit the apps or the clubs and find a guy who you would be comfortable inserting your penis into. For the sake of keeping your own nerves at bay, be completely honest with him about your sexual intentions. You're primarily a bottom, but you want to experience topping. Trust me, if a gay man doesn't find this enticing, he's Kirstie Alley.
Gays put a surprising emphasis on labels, when at the end of the day, you're just a boy. Standing in front of another boy. Asking him to take it up the ass. Good luck!
This would be a great time for the versatile readers out there to chime in with your best advice. PLEASE give our Zac Efron luster your big tip in the comments! And make sure to email your Queer Abby questions to email@example.com, or send them in anonymously with our Queer Abby Google Form!