March 14, 2019 | Posted in Editorial Features by
I started working at a new place almost a year ago where one of the associates acts friendly with everyone, but especially with me. He's often at my desk, smiling, telling me anecdotes (mostly boring ones and he's very chatty), touching my shoulder when I'm sitting or my back when I'm standing. Once he even massaged me for 10 seconds before a colleague called him.
He's around 50 years old, he's not particularly handsome but... he used to be a professional martial artist so he's got very wide shoulders and more generally speaking a fucking hot body. I could go on and on describing all of the details that have given me very inappropriate hard-ons every time he goes somewhere with those muscular legs... Also, did I mention his bulge? Anyway. I really, really want to think that it's not all in my head, and I want to slowly start making tiny and cautious moves because I really, really would like him to fuck me. Should I do it or do you think it would be too risky?
- Horny Coworker
Dear Horny Coworker,
First and foremost, familiarize yourself with the rules at your company regarding office romances. If you get with your hunky martial artist, are you jeopardizing either of your jobs? Secondly, regardless of the rules, I would take the blatant flirtation out of the office for now. At the point that you're receiving a ten second massage (that, had it not been rudely interrupted, seems like it would have gone on indefinitely) you're beyond "tiny and cautious moves." Unless you're wildly and completely misreading him, I highly doubt that this is all in your head.
Martial Artist is into you, but don't do the dance of seduction in front of your coworkers - who most likely have already picked up on the flirtation. We're bored at work. We notice things. Ask Martial Artist to get drinks after work. Feel out your connection at a bar. For now, the office can be for knowing glances and flirty discrete text messages, if you so dare. Not ten-second back massages. Lastly, there's a chance that the forbidden, taboo nature of an office romance is lighting a fire that otherwise wouldn't be there. Just stay in touch with yourself - keep tabs on your attraction level to Martial Artist if your relationship blossoms outside the office. Good luck!
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