Just Some Hot US Immigrants, Because FUCK TRUMP

June 21, 2018 | Posted in Editorial Features by his_excellency

(WARNING: THE FIRST PART OF THIS IS NON-HOT AND I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE.) As most of you probably already know, a teeny tiny problem has emerged in Washington, and that problem is President Trump's penis. On the other side of the country, a massive problem has emerged, which is the separation of children from their immigrant/asylum-seeking parents at the US and Mexico border. This past May Attorney Vampire Jeff Session stated:

If you don’t want your child separated, then don’t bring them across the border illegally. The laws are the laws. A big name of the game is deterrence.

Up until a smoke and mirrors executive order signed by Trump yesterday, children were being held in chain-link enclosures as their parents were processed as criminals. Many of the children were under four years old. Separated from their parents indefinitely, confused, and scared, the children were reportedly inconsolable. And coincidentally, the people hired to care for them were forbidden from consoling them or handling them affectionately in any capacity.

Many of the families are from Honduras, which is an incredibly dangerous and volatile country. By staying there, these parents would be jeopardizing the lives of their families. Denying them asylum in the US in the most inhumane way possible is a human rights violation, and it makes me so deeply sad that I'm fucking writing about it on here instead of K.J. Apa's tits and I am NOT HAPPY.

Now Trump claims to have addressed the problem by signing a bullshit executive order (which you can read much more about from a site that isn't the dark web HERE,) but the damage has already been done for thousands of families. I feel weird not at least mention this particular goings-on of the world on Fleshbot Gay, because while I know you guys are woke in your pants, I also know that you are woke in your hearts. Trump is racist. People are suffering in our own country. And I feel like it needs to be mentioned on any and every website out there right now.

Anyfuckingway. What can us followers of the Gay Internet do to help? Remind ourselves that everyone and their mom, literally, is an immigrant to the US except for Native Americans, and that we should extend the same compassion to others that our families either received or deserved when coming to the US. Below is just a tiny sampling of celebrities who acquired US citizenship (or murky A-list extended visas) without being treated like garbage. If only the Honduran asylum-seekers had been Slovenian hookers they'd get to stay in the White House instead of detainment centers. Crazy. And to our non-US readers - Can I live with you?


Liam Neeson

Became US citizen after immigrating from Ireland.


Justin Bieber

Possesses extended O-1 visa for "extraordinary ability or achievement." Not currently residing in a cage.


Kumail Nanjiani

Immigrated from Pakistan.


Pierce Brosnan

Immigrated from Ireland. Officially became a US citizen in 2004 after spending twenty-two-years in the US.


Arnold Schwarzenegger

Immigrated from Austria. Initially worked illegally in the US.

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