February 20, 2018 | Posted in Celebrity by
A peach hasn't been this destroyed since Timothée Chalamet in Call Me by Your Name. pic.twitter.com/GSpdjZGox2
— Gus Kenworthy (@guskenworthy) February 20, 2018
Yas, this is the headline I have been waiting for my entire career! Fap-material explosion Gus Kenworthy might have let the Olympic jitters affect his freeskiing performance at the ongoing 2018 PyeongChang Winter Olympics, but he gets all the medals in the Twitter fame ho competition! And even a special medal for the finding-a-way-to-work-Tomotheé-Chalamet's-anus-into-your-caption competition.
Kenworthy took to Twitter to share a pic of his bruised and battered thigh after a skiing accident as well as his fuzzy tit and ripped for the Gawds stomach. Because why the hell not. Kenworthy captions the pic with:
A peach hasn't been this destroyed since Timothée Chalamet in Call Me by Your Name.
I mean. Wow. The imagery that comes to mind. For anyone who hasn't seen the gay indie hit Call Me By Your Name, Chalamet plays a seventeen-year-old who finds himself at the receiving end of Armie Hammer's cock in an implied sex scene. The fact that this, of all places, is where Kenworthy's mind wanders while tweeting his injury makes me think that A) he's just as thirsty as I would hope for him to be and B) he may just be a top after all!
Chalamet's blown out asshole has not returned our request for comment on Kenworthy's tweet.
Raise your hand if you knew I was a dumb bitch! Commenter uwyoalum pointed out that I am indeed the dumbest bitch in all the land, because I completely didn't understand Kenworthy's comment. He was referring to the jizz peach in Call Me By Your Name, not Chalamet's leaky hole.