February 14, 2018 | Posted in Celebrity by
I can get into some pretty terrible television, I mean I did watch every episode of Girls, but the Bachelor/Bachelorette line is just something that I haven't crossed. Yet! My television tastes are set to proliferate further now that I've taken in every inch of some guy named Jordan Rodgers' surprisingly meaty visible bulge (come on mainstream advertisers) in this half briefs, half boxer briefs fame ho vision!
Rodgers is a contestant on The Bachelorette I think, and for this photo shoot he's Insta pimping hard for Captain Morgan. As they say in the ad industry, sex sells. And big balls and dicks sell harder! This guy is pretty much a cutie and a half, and he's giving me arms and thighs for literal days as well as the aforementioned bulge that you'd be hard-pressed to fit into your mouths. And that's a measure of success I think we can all agree on.
I don't know whether to watch The Bachelorette or buy gross alcohol or touch my no-no to Rodgers' yes-yes, but I do know that this ad is working. Does Rodgers turn you into Fap-tain Morgan? Spillz in the comments!
She said they’d be sexy, she said my legs weren’t too hairy...well at least I got a laugh out of her! Trying to impress @joelle_fletcher the only way I know how ...making her in my CAPTAIN Pose Pants. Grab a pair for your Valentine (or friend you want to embarrass) using link in bio. #MyCaptains #LikeACaptain #CaptainMorganPartner @captainmorganusa
Photo Credit: Instagram, Captain Morgan