Something deep deep deep down inside me that I don't quite understand is making me watch American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace religiously, and something even deeper down is making me feel kind of sort of attracted to Darren Criss! Even though, as well all know, let's say it together - Darren Criss is foul to all the senses and is so disfigured that he barely registers as human. But here I am, waiting for Criss to show off his disproportionate body each week. And for the series' most recent fourth episode, House by the Lake, my little Picasso does not disappoint!
Ray Mickshaw / FX
As always, I'm not 100% sure why we don't like Criss, but at least three of you voiced your concern over his mauled face and body, and I trust you guys more than I trust myself. This week Andrew Cunanan (Criss) teams up with the twinkylurcious David Madson (Cody Fern) to go doubly shirtless during an oddly homoerotic shower scene. Criss is washing the blood off of Fern, which you wouldn't think of as being sexy at first. but I've got Ryan Murphy's number, and if you piped in the "bow chica wow wow" music, this would be the buildup to full blown breeding in a Bromo Halloween special. Andrew Cunanan? More like Andrew Cum-banana! Rite ladies. RITE LADIES.