Yikes, Penis Whitening Procedure All The Rage Right Now

January 5, 2018 | Posted in Editorial Features by his_excellency


My ideal penis is ghastly white and possibly scarred from laser treatment, so you could imagine how happy I was to see that penis whitening is a thing! The BBC reports that the procedure, popular in Thailand, recently came to people's attention stateside after a since-deleted Facebook ad from Lelux Hospital in Bangkok went viral. The post shared before and after photos of the procedure. And out of curiosity, and because the Brits don't have enough news to fill headlines like we do, the BBC reached out to an actual patient who claimed to notice a difference and said that he "wanted to feel more confident in [his] swimming briefs." We have even more deets thanks to the hospital's marketing manager Popol Transakul:

Patients started to ask about penis whitening, and so we started the treatment a month later. They are popular among gay men and transvestites who take good care of their private parts. They want to look good in all areas.

Omg well thank you. This plays into the larger beauty trend in Asian countries that sees people striving for lighter features, because, as the BBC puts it, "darker skin is often associated with outdoor labor, therefore, being poorer." Or you could be like me and be poor and white. It's very desirable let me tell you.

Larger cultural implications aside, for any chrn out there who think that their junk can somehow be improved upon - it honestly can't. The colors we see from the dicks on Fleshbot range from fire engine red to purple, and I can't think of one time any of you had any complaints! Bumps, creases, curves, dots, and spots are also more than fair game. Hell you could show us a picture of a knotted cocktail straw placed next to Cameron Dallas and we'd put it in our holes. If it stars with a "p" and ends with an "enis," it's amazing.

Photo Credit: Lelux Hospital

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