November 1, 2017 | Posted in Editorial Features by
Some people ask me why I do this job or if I have any ambitions in life or self-respect in general. The answer is obviously no, and for anyone wondering, the reason why I love my job can be found in the title of this post! If there's something in life better than Donald Trump Jr. wearing a dick-hugging Spandex American flag suit while using his daughter's candy haul to preach against socialism, I certainly haven't come across it.
The doting First Son went as his father for Halloween, and his costume consisted of a body suit that must have been found crumpled up outside Grauman's Chinese Theater as well as a flattering Donald Trump rubber face mask. But I don't think anyone's focusing on that cat anus mouth today, because Jr.'s penis line is more than visible, and his children are front and center for the anatomy lesson!
Jr. is using his dick's time in the spotlight as an opportunity to teach the world a thing or two about freedom, and has this to say about the Halloween candy that his daughter collected for free from other people:
I’m going to take half of Chloe’s candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It’s never to early to teach her about socialism.
I feel like hemorrhaging typos has become like, my cute trademark, and I'm sure you guys feel the same, so I'm not even going to be mad about the "to" here. In fact I'm not going to be mad at any part of this! Let us know if you'd take a ride on Jr.'s flagpole in the comments below!
Note: We don't put pictures of kids on here, but just know that Jr.'s son is touching his ass. You can see the future subject of multiple therapy sessions here.
Photo Credit: Instagram