March 22, 2017 | Posted in Editorial Features by
If you're ever feeling body conscious, just realize literally every gay man you know is feeling the same way regardless of how they look! At least this is the message in a hilarious new YouTube video, which doubles as an ad for a pill that gives you football-sized dumps. That company, Pure For Men, is not paying me to write this article. Though if you're reading this, Pure For Men, I've always wanted to be sponsored by a poop pill.
In the video, a group of six sexy gays can be seen cleaning a car belonging to a hungry hungry bottom. At first, it seems the punchline is simply that men are taking on the roles of soaked, sudsy car washers typically portrayed women - and most famously portrayed by porn star Paris Hilton for Carl Jr.
We are soon privileged to the inner monologs of the surprisingly insecure guys, who can't seem to live in the moment because they're too preoccupied with their bodies. They voice concerns of having big nipples, hairy chests, and bellies. It's pretty much the most frustrating feeling in the world to miss out on the fun because you're too self-aware, and if you can't enjoy getting all slippery and wet with a bunch of fellow hotties, you might need to have a little chit chat with yourself.
At the end of the video, the bottom in the car rubs his bottle of Pure For Men, knowing that the fiber pills have voided his bowels and he's ready to take dick, should the opportunity arise with these guys. He knows that, according to Pure's website, "Movements that lack fiber are typically scattered and messy, whereas once you have Pure for Men clearing out your system, everything should be nicely packed together in a very clean fashion."